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My mom just don't understand
hii so my mom is allways yelling at me. And I think she is to over protective I can't go to my best friend for a weekend because she have brothers. I told her before that I won't play around like that because im not that sort of person. I try to talk to her but then she is just yelling again.... please help!!
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My mum was like that. There's not a lot that you can do really. You can try what I've tried though. Tell your mum that it's upsetting that she doesn't trust you and that she wasn't such an 'angel' when she was your age. And then just walk out on her. Give her some time and hopefully she'll let you go. Mine did.
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Yes, parents can be overprotective and mainly cus they remember really well their experiences as a teenager so while it may seem blown out of proportion, they are correct to not underestimate what a hormone driven teen boy might be tempted to do. Nothing may ever happen and they may all be well behaved, but your parents don't want to believe that, allow you to go and then something bad happens and they end up blaming themselves for the rest of their lives, feeling guilty that they didn't do a better job of protecting you.
I remember teen sleepovers and how fun that was. It was the sleepover, not the surroundings that made it special. So if you cant go there, if she allowed to come to your house to sleep over?
As far as protecting a daughter from sexual advances or attacks, I remember having 3 daughters. When they had a new friend, I had to meet the parents and get to know them well before I let her go overnight. My concern wasn't as much the brothers as any male in the house, including the dad. The wife could think all is well but husband is not satisfied and always fantasizing about having someone else and decides to go after my daughter while everyone else is asleep. I had to know what the family was like. Everyone of course will be on their best behaviour so my daughters were taught what warning signs to look for when they visited during the day. Disrepect between the parents or towards the children, fighting parents, taking of street drugs or drinking of alcohol while kids were there, etc...
We live in a crazy world dear, there's no such thing as being too careful anymore.
Some day when mom is calm, ask her about her teen years. You want to hear all the good memories and also learn what she did wrong, did any bad things happen to her. If you approach in a calm manner letting her know you want to learn to not repeat the same mistakes, and she doesnt feel threatened, she may tell you some things that might explain why she reacts so emotionally to the thought of you going overnight or whatever other options she over reacts to. My guess is it's based on things she did wrong and learned the hard way or things that were done to her. She won't want you to know thinking that you might think less of her as a parent but many of us learn the hard way. If we don't share what we learned with the next generation and just set rules to protect them without explaining why, we aren't really helping. Thats where your mom may be at, trying to do the right things but not really helping cus she won't volunteer the reason why. So ask her. And when she has explained, don't fight her, just accept what she has said, try to put yourself in her shoes. If you were her, would you be tempted to act the same way? Theres a good chance you would. If you can understand her reasoning, it may help you to not become too frustrated with her, even if she's not doing it the best way possible.
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I actually know some girls who weren't allowed to stay at friends houses who had brothers.
She probably trusts you, just not them.
I had some friends who I wasn't allowed to stay the night at their houses because their parents weren't ok with it because they had brothers. You'd be surprised how this isn't uncommon.
Anyways, the only thing you can do is talk to her. You can't make her change her mind. It's hard to reason with someone who just yells, but she is your mother and you can't exactly make her listen.
You could try writing her a note and explain your feelings and maybe have her talk to your friends parents.
She's just being a mom. Even when you think she's being unfair, you're going to have to respect her wishes.
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You didn't really say how old you were but it's alright I'll assume your young and maybe it came to your mom's mind that your friend's brothers could harm you but you need to let her know that your gonna be staying in one room with a door locked or something if you actually want to do that. If you don't you could just try to explain it to her in a more calmer state that your not hat kind of person. Sometimes you just have to wait for her to calm down not only because she's yelling but because it could get you stressed out and then get you to say no sense or thing you don't mean when your arguing.. Good luck!
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