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What do I do confused? (After he goes down on me I feel like I did something wrong)
Ok I'm 18 and my bf is 20 we've been together for a year now he decided to go down on me and I like it but I don't feel good about it after. I don't really know how to explain how I feel but when he goes down it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong but he always says he feels good about it idk what to do it seems like he gets more pleasure off of this then I do and I like it when he does but I don't know something in me tells me its wrong I don't know why is it because I don't love enough or if I'm selfish I don't really know. I also feel like I hold back all those pleasure/sexual feelings in me I really don't know why either whats wrong with me?
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You did say "he decided to go down on me" your choice of words. So I must ask, did you decide this was something you wanted to experience, or was ready for mentally.
All girls are going to feel squeamish the first time, it's like the first time you take off your clothes and are totally nude in front of someone.
Because this is close to where we pee from and where our period flow comes from, we tend to think of this as an unclean dirty area.
Who would possibly want to get their nose down there and be smelling it or even tasting it!! Right?
It might be time that you become more comfortable with yourself sexually. Have you ever fingered yourself and then smelled what it smells like? I love that smell. Theres no perfume in this world that comes close. Then again, I have also smelled that old blood smell on period days or when I got vaginosis infection from cleaning the vagina too much or incorrectly. Douches and soap will cause the good bacteria and your vag's natural cleaning system to fail and thats when bad bacteria take over and you will catch that awful fishy odor like long dead decaying fish. If you have that smell, see a dr for antibiotics. Take good care of your vag and all will be well.
Your body secrets a clear to milky liquid in between periods that you will see deposited in your panties. This is not alot in volumn but its the bodies natural cleaning system. If this is working well, then any odors and tastes will be pleasant for him. Those who eat less meats or are totally vegetarian will have sweeter tasting fluids...both female and males. Try it sometimes, to taste your own fluids. Once you can be comfortable with yourself, it shouldn't be a big deal. I have found that not all mens tongues feel the same way on me for oral sex. Some will bring me to orgasm quite easily while others do not. A tongue is a muscle. As with the muscles elsewhere on a body, you know not all muscles look alike and so I suppose they wont all feel alike. If for some reason, you like the sensations but you don't get orgasms that way. Let him know that though you can still engage in it for his pleasure that you'd rather focus more attentionon something else like g-spot orgasms.
The battle is mostly in your mind. And yes, what we hear said about sex in society will stick in our brains and we form thoughts about sex that will shut down our bodies ability to enjoy sex.
If a guy ever goes down on you and acts like he doesn't like it, some are like that...they don't enjoy it sexually, but not because of the female.
Some guys find it hurts their neck, others have said their tongue gets tired to quick or their jaw will ache but they make the effort because they love it, it just may not last long enough for you to have orgasm by. If you love your partner, you will talk about all that you are feeling. Even during sex, I have said things like, "Did you feel that energy surge just now...like a bolt of electricity that just shot up and down inside and hit your heart? " It may be hard to put into words... but every time I have shared something I was feeling or experiecing at any moment in time, my partner could verify he felt the same thing. It is actually a beautiful thing to add to sex, the communication enhances it greatly. So talk out with him how you feel, it allows him to encourage you or change what he's doing. I am in my 50s and there is still something new that I experience every once in a while with my partner, a different response our bodies have one time over another.
Get rid of any feelings that are negative or not conducive to you enjoying yourself. There is nothing wrong in sexuality, everything goes but it must be something both partners are comfortable with and enjoy. One should never force the other to do things the other does not like or get pleasure from. If there are too many differences including fetishes, including libidos that don't match, then you may have the wrong sex partner, no matter how well you get along as friends...both areas must match. Good luck!
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Well there is nothing wrong with oral sex.
I've also felt the way you have before too. I always felt gross or wrong after I had oral sex.
I really think it's because of society. It's not uncommon to feel that way. I mean growing up you'll hear so much about why sex is wrong. It does get in your head and you can't enjoy it when you're actually old enough to be smart about it.
There is nothing wrong with you. I just think you need more time to learn about what you want, what you think is ok, ect.
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I do not know you well enough to know for sure that what I'm about to say is correct. Though 2 things you need to know. First: I have been doing this long enough and seen this question or questions like this to be fairly certain what is bothering you. Second: I'm old enough to be your grandfather and what I am about to say is straight talk on the subject of sex. Probably not the way your parents taught you.
There is nothing wrong with oral sex both giving and receiving. I'm a little surprised given your age that you feel the way you do about it. I will place the blame on what your parents may or may not have told you about sex and religious training you have received.
Oral sex is considered sodomy. sodomy is by definition any sex act that is not penis to vagina penetrated intercourse. It is by religious, formerly by law unlawful in most states unlawful, to be a sin. Anal sex would also fall under this definition.
In the mid 1960's this country and the world went through a sexual revolution or rather sex came out of the closet so to speak. In short any sexual act between two consenting adults, as long as no one was physically hurt beyond a person's individual acceptance, was fine. The key word here is consenting. As long as both partners or in the case of group sex all partners, consent to a sexual act it was okay. What happens in the privacy of ones bedroom is no ones business but theirs.
What this means is that any sexual act between two consenting adults is fine. There is nothing wrong with oral sex. Yes your boyfriend performing oral sex on you gives him a 2 fold pleasure. Satisfying you and bringing you to a climax this way is one way and it is also enjoyable for him as it is a very intimate act. Almost or maybe more intimate than intercourse.
About the only sexual position we are born knowing is the missionary position as it is almost an animal instinct. Anything else is learned as partners grow more trusting and want more intimacy in their sexual relationship. There's nothing wrong with experimentation in sexual acts and nothing is weird as long as you both consent and understand stop means stop now and no means no.
I can't tell you that it is wrong to feel the way you do if it is part of your religious upbringing. You must practice your religion as you see fit. What I will tell you is millions of men and women of all religions practice oral sex and other forms of sex other than just the missionary position. The millions of us that do believe we are not committing any sin and will not burn in hell for doing something that gives us so much pleasure and intimacy.
Ultimately you must make the choice that is right for you. It is neither right or wrong to feel as you do. It is your choice to embrace what your boyfriend is doing for you and enjoy the love and affection with which he does so. It is also your choice to return the love and affection by giving him oral sex as well. I know he will not only enjoy it what you give him but will love you all the more for doing so.
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