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I'm 17 and my Gf is 17 she loves alot but i'm afraid to tell her sex with me
We have been in a relationship for eight mounth now and i'm a virgin but my girl friend she's not and we are both 18, i want sex with her but i'm scared to tell b'coz i felt shy,i think she can reject so what should i do!
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Talk to her about it.If she really loves you, she shouldn't have a problem with it.
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I'll address your question but first would like to point out that I noticed your title mentions you both being 17 and in next sentence you state 'we are both 18'. I am wondering if you are worried about state laws and maybe not being legally of the age of consent? If that's one of your concerns, you can always look at this link to wikipedia's age of consent. In the US some states laws differ from the federal law of 18. Here's the US link.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you're in another country, they should have a listing on the web for it too.
If you want sex just because you are a virgin and she's had sex before so this looks like your chance, thats not a good enough reason for her. Whether a good or a bad experience in the past for her, your girlfriend will reshape her values and what she wants by her experiences...so what she's done before may not be what she will do this time sexually. Perhaps it felt hollow and meaningless with a connection of deeper feelings for each other.
You said she loves you. How do you feel about her? If you are crazy about her, that should be coming out in your actions. Do you compliment her, not just her looks, but her smarts, her accomplishments, etc. Do you kiss and hold hands and snuggle with her, when she's upset, do you listen and then offer your comfort with a hug, do you do special deeds for her that weren't necessary, like offering to get a refill on her drink, opening doors for her, etc... (if she says, its okay she can do it herself, you can win points here if you state "I realize you're capable of doing that for yourself. I just want to do this as one of many ways to show you how special you are to me, how much I like you/love you.") Do you give her little gifts for no special reasons, things with some thought put into them,not the average flowers, chocolate and jewelry that everyone else does. Something meaningful. For example a daughter of mine is crazy about anything 'Pirates'. Neither I nor her boyfriend can go wrong picking up something pirate themed, or even sending a cute pirate photo via facebook, a pirate mug, keychain, t-shirt...you get the idea. It could even be something small and silly like a pencil topper. Its not the gift but that fact that you were thinking of her, it shows her that she's always on your mind.
If you've done all that stuff for a good foundation, then what you say is real easy, something like, "I love you so much. I hope that you can tell by what I do for you that its true. The only way I have not shown you how much I love you is by making love to you. I really want to do that for you." Then this becomes a good time to find out if she has just relied on condoms before or if she is on some kind of birth control, and if she isn't to talk about her getting on it so you don't have to watch her freak out when her period is late due to stress or illness and she thinks she's pregnant every other month.
If she says she's not ready, find out what happened before, was she forced by a guy, was she threatened with him leaving if she didn't give it up. These are adult topics but teens have to tackle them if they want to have sex. You need to be able to be supportive so she has trust in you and can get past whatever is holding her back. If for some reason she says she just wants to be friends...then you have another conversation t o have. The chemistry you feel sexually may only be one way. She may love you as a friend but never be able to love you as a man, a lover. If thats the case, consider yourself lucky to have her for a best friend and tell her so, but let her know that if you come across a girl who there is chemistry with that way, you will start dating her and you wont have as much time for her friendship. Dont let a girl drag you on in the friendship state and not allow you to see anyone else romantically. Either she;s into you that way or not and tells you so.
So with all I've said, you dont have to worry about rejection, be concerned more about your response. There has to be a reason for her saying no. It may be no forever, or a temporary no.
Lastly, sex is a lot more than just oral sex and putting a penis in a vagina. Do some study on line as to how to pleasure a female, and give her not just clitoral but g-spot orgasms. Once any girl that you love experiences this kind of lovemaking, she is not likely to ever not be in the mood. You're still 17/18 but nows the time to start learning this. There may be ways, subtle ones, that you discover in dating that a girl is not the right one, and you part ways and start dating another, this is part of the learning process to find the one who will make the best long term committed partner for you one day. It is painful, there's heartbreak but it cant be helped. Good communication is important always even in breaking up so neither partner thinks the worst, they're just nice people, right for someone else, just not for each other.
Hope this helps you in your current situation and for the future.
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