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Tired of being screwed over
Okay so I went out with this guy whom I actually loved and really cared for 5 times. He actually came home and met my family and I lost my virginity to him. My family loved him to death. Everything seemed to go great. He acted like the perfect boyfriend then he told me he told his family all about me and they were excited to meet me at his graduation. I was excited and nervous to meet them. Finally when it was his graduation time, they came and took pictures with him and looked at me like I was some weirdo as I waited on the sidelines for him to introduce me. After a while of ignoring me, I pull him aside and ask him if they no about me. He shrugs and says 'not really' then ignores me. I tell him I'll be right back and leave the gym and sit behind it and bawl my eyes out.I felt betrayed. After a while my guy friends came by and tried to comfort me.I sent my best friend to get him so I could say goodbye only to find out he left without saying goodbye to me. Weeks past without an email or call from him. Summer break I FINALLY called him and ended it. Now it's 3 months later and I like somebody but I'm not sure if I should even take the risk again. I'm graduating soon and would like to start new but I don't know if I should...
What should I do? I'm afriad to get screwed over again.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey hon, in dating you are going to be exposed to the bad and the good. Remember what those characteristics are of the bad traits in guys and the moment you see that in another guy, back away from him. My example...I left a verbally abusive ex. 30 yr marriage. Started dating. One guy seemed nice but finally got comfortable enough on 3rd date to let the mask down, no longer be on his best behavior. Some keep the false self up longer. What he did was complain about his house keeper calling her derogatory names and also racist slurs and the moment I heard that, though it wasnt directed at me, I knew from experience that it was directed at me with the ex at first either but a short while after marriage he began to verbally abuse.
Let this be just one of several dating and learning lessons. Keep a high standard. What are you looking for in a guy? If its someone talkative, thoughtful, very patient and laid back...then the moment the guy you're dating continues to stay silent and only give short answers, forgets your birthday or exhibits road rage symptoms because traffic has slowed, or gets angry cus you were a few minutes late, is very intense and seems to want to pick a fight with everyone about little things, then obviously he is opposite of what you;re looking for...dont let the fact that he's so handsome or your heart feels something for him keep you with an asshole.
It will take going through a lot of duds before you find the right guy. I am glad I didn't give up because I found a man who was worth not giving up on the dating process. If you find yourself so afraid that you must build a wall around your heart to protect you from hurt again...then you will likely never be hurt like that again but then the wall around your heart will also keep out any possible guy who really does love and care about you.
Also, dont make the virginity thing eat at you. There is no such thing as losing virginity. Two gay people dont have the right parts to have intercourse, meaning a penis in a vagina. Or those who have only oral sex, there was no intercourse, so is oral sex not sex? It is sex and its' part of many sexual discoveries along the way which wouldnt started with you studying your anatomy and masturbating. That is sex too. We have DNA checks to discover who the daddy was. Virginity was something men made up to protect themselves from giving their inheritance to bastard children.
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It's life. People aren't always going to be good and treat others right.
So there is a good chance that you will get hurt again. I have to admit, it's really hard. I admire the girls who keep trying even when they've been screwed over several times.
If you decide not to try again, you're not going to end up with anybody and you know that you might miss the chance with your perfect mate.
It's all up to you but I'm sure you're strong enough to try again.
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You might get screwed over again!
It might happen. Actually, in the 80+ years you will hopefully be alive on this planet, you will almost definitely get screwed over again at some point.
Seriously, stop worrying about it. It's the risk we take when we care for someone. If you never take that risk again, you'll never get any of the rewards.
So don't worry so much. Bad things will happen. Keep your eyes open and don't be a push over. If you are ready to take the risk with someone new, then just take that risk.
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