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Horny but can't find love
What do you do in a situation where you can't find love and accept the fact that you have to "just let it happen" but CANNOT ignore your body's sexual needs any longer? I'm a virgin but do you think it's OK for me to find someone to start hooking up with? Just so I don't go insane from being horny? I literally have never done any sexual activity but CANNOT stop thinking about sex. I've only ever found one guy that I really have feelings for and he has a girlfriend. I have been pretty heartbroken from that experience. I really can't find another guy I like (college boys are immature) and don't want to force trying to find one. I am so horny it makes me moody. (Yes, I have done everything I can to please myself, but I need a man). Help?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I can understand where you're coming from. It's just, if you really want a FWB or casual hook ups, you can't be looking for love from them, keep that in mind. Like if you start hooking up with someone and you actually find out you like them, it most likely won't happen.
I don't see anything wrong with casual sex. As long as you find someone you trust and don't have feelings for.
I don't think you need a man to please yourself. I mean they will do the same things you do to yourself. Girls don't normally orgasm during sex either unless the guys want to make that happen. I mean sex toys can do the same thing as a man can.
And I'm assuming you're college age since you said college boys are immature. But I really hope you don't write off guys in college because you assumed they're all immature, because that's not true. It's not really the age of the person that makes them immature, it's the person themself. Like you'll meet plenty of older men who are just as immature.
Anyways, that's just a side note to keep in mind.
So if you think you can handle it, and put aside looking for a relationship, then go for it. If you don't mind that your virginity won't be taken by someone you love, then go for it.
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I highly recommend against it.
You asked "is it ok?"
Adults have casual sex plenty. They (hopefully) know what they're getting into and are comfortable with themselves, their sexuality, and their situation. Even then it doesn't always go right.
And yes, sorry, if you're a virgin I do not consider you a full adult yet, even if you're college age or above. It's not a judgement, I just consider learning about sexuality to be part of growing up and you aren't grown until you've had some learning. Most people grow up eventually.
You need something a bit longer term than a hook up, and you need it to be more than a FWB/regular casual sex. You want someone who you can talk to before and after, figure out sex both inside and outside the bedroom. That mandates a relationship.
Sex is a skill. Everyone is borderline terrible at it when they start out. Seriously. Everyone. How do you get better? You have alot of sex. How do you have alot of sex? You find someone who likes you for reasons other than sex so you can spend alot of time together and sex just happens naturally.
It helps in other areas, too. For instance, at some point one or the other of you will knee or elbow the other person in the face. Unless you're with someone who refuses to do anything other than missionary, accidents happen. A boyfriend will be able to see the humor in it. A hook up might just get pissed and leave. And one bad instance of sex can send a FWB running for the hills, so now you've got to go find someone new to sleep with. A boyfriend who cares about you and likes spending time with you can settle back and watch a movie with you and chuckle until you're both horny again.
You don't have to shoot straight for love. You can just go with "like and enjoy spending time around" if you want. Just, you know, ideally you have actually spent some time with them and gotten to know them. Not just a few days/dates or whatever. A few weeks at least. Don't let them know what your schedule is. Just try to find a guy who likes you who you like, and when you feel like it's the right time jump his bones I guess.
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Hey there :)
Hmmmm... let's see. I think losing your virginity is something pretty special and you need a person who knows what he is doing and should be capable of making it special for you.
I understand that the sexual needs of your body needs to be met. But if you can hold out for that special guy I think you should.. It would be more meaningful then. If not, do you have anyone in your life who treats you well and someone you are totally comfortable with? I mean someone who is a guy and with this person whom you are able share most of your thoughts with? If you have someone like that, then I think you can have needs sated.
I don't know how old you are.. but I have quite a few girlfriends who regretted losing their virginity in a meaningless encounter. I still think you should wait for a special guy ( I'm a romantic girl at heart) :)
Whatever you decide I hope things work out for you and make you feel special! :)
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