Member Since: August 27, 2013
Answers: 10
Last Update: April 18, 2014
Visitors: 1141
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My boyfriend is trying to give hints that he wants to take the relationship further, he's asking me how far I would go and what I would do, asking me to send him dirty pictures and if I would have sex. I'm 14 years old! I'm not ready, I'm not comftable with my body and I'm not comftable thinking about it. I want to tell him somehow that I'm not ready to go that far yet but I'm not sure how to tell him, he said he would never force me which I hope he won't...
Anyone got any advice on how I can tell him without it breaking us apart?
Also he wants me to send him a picture of me, a dirty one... I really don't want to, how can I tell him I don't want to do this aswell?
Thankyou x (link)
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Hey!!
You seem like a smart girl :) Of course you shouldn't be having sex at fourteen. Your body is underdeveloped at fourteen and that's why doctors advice girls not to have sex before sixteen. Besides, you are still fourteen - you still have time. Having said that, I think you should tell him that you are not ready for it yet straight out. One should be very firm when saying no in such matters.
Please don't send anyone your "dirty pictures".... they can be misused. Please be firm and tell him that you can't possibly do that.
Remember if he loves you, he'll never break up with you over this.
Your first time should be very special to both you and your partner. So please tell him that you want to wait for another year or two before you have sex. I don't know how old is your boyfriend but I think he is not mature enough based on what you have written. You seem more mature to me. Try talking to him, if it works out - good; if it doesn't then that's also good because at least now you know how much he really loves you. Trust me, when you find that special someone - there won't be any niggling doubts at the back of your mind.
I hope things work out for you :)
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I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...? (link)
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Hey there!!
I'll give you the scientific reason - Melanin is the reason. It gives us our skin color. Melanin content determines the tone of the color. You have pale skin tone because you have less melanin content and you have freckles because melanin content is more in those areas. Melanin protects skin from sun.
I hope you don't worry much about it. Most of the beautiful ladies in the world have pale skin. If it worries you much, then you get melanin tablets - you can ask a dermatologist to prescribe it to you or you can think of yourself as a vampire princess (if you are into them) and live happily! :)
Hope it helped!!
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So my bf & I met when we were both 18 & got together a couple months later. I had cheated on my previous bf with him, but I felt so bad about that I told the very next day (we just kissed,& it turns out to be my current bf's first kiss), & when I told him he asked why. After my first boyfriend & I broke up after 3 months on & off. Less than a month after we'd been broken up, I started dating the guy I cheated with-who turns out to be my steady bf since late 2010. I took his virginity in January 2011, & all was well for a while. Then he started lying over stupid things (where he was, that he had to go home, who he was with-said he was with his friend Kyle, but he was with a girl he "used" to like,& talk shit on me)..or "forgetting" to tell me things, & making the same promises over and over. It doesn't help that he never seems sincere & using uses a sarcastic or mocking tone, & usually extremely critical of me. I do love him so much,& he's my first,& we have had a lot of good times, but I don't know what to do anymore. Help please?? (link)
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Hey!
Cheer up! No you are not wasting your time. You just want to trust this guy very bad. You want him to love you just the way you love him. So no I don't think you are wasting your time - Instead see it like this - You are giving everything to make this relationship work.
Our first 'guys' are very special to us and I totally get it. But things stop when he bad mouths you in front of someone else behind your back. If he has problems with you then talking about you behind your back will not set things right for either of you. I think you should talk to him - Tell him you love him and that you really care but his unthoughtful actions have hurt you. Ask him straight out if he wants to be together with you or just part ways.
We all have can make out when someone is lying or insincere to us. So when you have this conversation, pay attention. If you feel that he is lying or being insincere - accept it and let him go. There is no point in being in a one sided sincere relationship. I know you love him and yes it will hurt. But the best part is - you have done everything you possibly could to make a go with this relationship. You have done your part and now it's his turn. If he doesn't recognize it now, he probably never will.
You still have time to fall in love. Maybe this guy is not your prince charming after all. I hope things work for you. But if it doesn't - well - then do things you always wanted to do - Finish your education, join a hobby class. It's not the end of the world. If I could survive heartbreaks and being a wreck trust me you can too :)
Hoping things work out for you!
Don't give up!
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I will recieve my bachelors degree in community health(public health) in december then I will be done with school and ready to work. The problem is I dont think I will like it im not sure what I will be doing for a job and I just started an internship to find out. I am more of a structured person and I like to know what I have to do or will be doing everyday like a nurse. There is a program that I want to do but not sure if I should stress myself out after already doing 5 years of college. I am 22 years old. Since I will have a bachelors degree their is a program that will allow me to do 16 months all year round of really fast and hard school to get my bachelors in nursing. The problem is it requires that before I apply I would have to take 4 really hard classes that I did not take in college. Microbiology chemistry I and II human development. Which means after my bachelors degree I have to take all those classes which will take a year and then i can apply and wont be done for another 16 months. Should I stick with my community health degree or should I try the really hard nursing where I have to dedicate my life only to that and cant have a job? (link)
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Hey there :)
I think you should take up nursing if you are really interested in it. Because from what you have written. I think you like it. Since you said you're more of a structured person, nursing is probably better for you.
People in the medical profession esp doctors and nurses both are on the call I believe 24/7. I think probably on completing your internship you'll have a better idea about your profession.
If you want to take up nursing badly, then do finish all the courses you need to do. I mean you've come so far and you can do another almost 3 years to be what you want to be.
It depends on you - on what you want to be. If you think you can dedicate yourself to nursing profession, I think you should. But before you make a decision I think it's better to get your internship over with :)
All the best!
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Hi, my name is jhon and im 21 years old, I live in CT and i've been planning to end my life, its a long story, i wish it didnt have to be this way. I came to the u.s in 2007 i was 16, i got in high school unfortunately i met some "friends" that used to smoke weed and skip school all day, decision i regret now, I didnt care about anything I did'nt even know how life really was. I dropped out school and started looking for jobs, then i met a girl that soon would become my girlfriend, long story short, i was irresponsible and immature and i ended up quitting or losing a few jobs that was back in 2010/2011 but ive been struggilng since i got here, now 2013 i had a really good job traveling it seemed promising i was happy because since this job seemed stable my now ex girlfriend and I planned on moving in together soon and i was giving my 100%, I used to install light pannels, led's etc. at that time my girlfriend and I was dating for almost 3 years, we broke up less than a month ago, when i lost my job.. since there wasnt high demand they could not have me in the company when there was no projects, i have debts too and no savings, anyway i told my girlfriend this and she broke up with me saying she was tired of my unstability, and that it was never going to change, ive been living with my mother and her boyfriend althought me and her boyfriend never liked each other and now it got to a point where he hates me and blames me for the problems he had with my mother, and she migh hate me too.
Now he kicked me off the house, even though i dont have a job, and i been looking for jobs but have had no luck yet, long story short everything came down hill for me all at the same time and my mother has no money to help me, i dont think my dad does either, and i dont have friends, at least here in the u.s. so basically I will end up living in the streets when this month is over, i will have no chances of finding a job then. I tried to enlist in the army too but i didnt have that much time to wait until the whole process was done, i only had a month worth of rent, right now i dont see to get out of this, i'd probably die from starvation or heavy winter who knows,but i dont wanna wait until that, ill just accelerate the process, i dont want to be a homeless either with no job living out what people decides to give you. I know all this is my fault. I just didnt want to end it like this, i wanted to do so much for my mother since i havent been a good son to her and i wanted to show my ex girlfriend hat i really wanted to succeed. My question is what should I do? I dont have any resource left and i think this is really the end for me.
Thank you all for your time and excuse the long paragraph and bad grammar.
P.S i suffer from depresion and this is not the first time ive had suicidal thoughts, ive had this more than 4 years ago. And now i might be decided, it whats is left to do anyway. I just wish i could go to the army id love to serve the country if i could. (link)
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Hey Jhon :)
Please don't die. You are just 21. Your situation is difficult. I am being very honest here and it seems like things will be even more difficult going forward. But don't die. If you don't fight for your life, no one else will.
I think the first thing you need to do would be to either go home to your mom or dad and beg them to keep you till you earn your first salary. It doesn't matter if your mother's boyfriend doesn't like you because now it is a question of your survival. That being said, start looking for a job with accommodation if possible. I know you are trying. But please try harder. Show to your mom or dad that this time you're really serious. Tell them sorry for your past actions. They are your parents. They love you no matter how or who you are. Tell them you'll be out of their hair once you get a proper job. Tell them you don't wanna die on the streets.
The second thing? Forget about your past - at least try to keep it in the past - don't think much about it. Now you have an aim - Surviving. Please work for it. Don't give up on yourself. Don't get into a relationship at this point of time. You'll find time for it once you're a little better off.
Third thing - Try and finish your school. It will help you get a better career and ease your life. Even if you enlist - which I think is a good thought, I mean serving your country is a noble thing to do - please finish your schooling.
Fourth thing? Start a progress diary ( I did it once ) Divide it into two parts. Write your ambitions and how you will achieve them in one part and the difficulties and the ways to solve them in another part. This might sound girly or silly to you. But try it. It will help monitor your progress towards your aims in life. This is not for anyone you're doing - It's for you. It will hardly take probably ten minutes of your time everyday.
Fifth thing - Try to be there for your parents whenever you can - Show them you care. They will be happy and proud of you.
Please don't give up. You have realized your past mistakes and that is a great thing. You wrote for advice here means you are serious about changing your circumstances. Work towards it. I won't lie and say it will be easy. But work hard and fight for your life and yourself.
For your depression - Every time you get depressed, do something you enjoy. I paint and go for long walks and see how the world is doing.
You said you don't have friends. So make friends. Friendship is not about money, status, age or any such thing. It just takes a smile and common interests or just being with someone that makes you smile and laugh. :)
Don't give up! All the best!
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Hi a while back she dumped me as a friend and we are no longer friends anymore:( A while back i was kind of okay with not being friends. Now i am getting really sad and jealous of her being friends with my other friends on facebook and in real life. everytime i see her i feel sad and i miss her sooo much. Yeserday i saw her it was the first day of school i was scared to see her i hide behind a teacher so she would not see me. but i think she and her friends saw me. Her friend was talking very loud for some odd reason. Then today i was another friend of her she did not wave back to me when i waved to her. But i saw another friend of her she said hi to me when i waved to her. My question is why am i a bad person to her why does she hate me for i did nothing wrong! please help
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Hey!
Don't drive yourself nuts :) I think there was probably a miscommunication between you and your friend. And when she dumped you - you were okay with that and you didn't try to find out why she was dumping you.
From what you have said, I think she's hurt - because of whatever she thinks you said or did. I think you should try and talk to her and find out where things went wrong in your friendship. She might be a little miffed in the beginning but I think she will eventually tell you where things went wrong. Try and work it out with her. Tell her you miss her friendship and that you feel bad about how things ended between the two of you.
Try calling her at home and talk to her if talking at school is not possible. You can even drop in at her home one day surprising her and talk it out. But whatever you do, you need to do it fast since you've already lost some time.
Good friends are like gems and are are hard to find. I hope things work out between you and your friend. All the best! :)
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What do you do in a situation where you can't find love and accept the fact that you have to "just let it happen" but CANNOT ignore your body's sexual needs any longer? I'm a virgin but do you think it's OK for me to find someone to start hooking up with? Just so I don't go insane from being horny? I literally have never done any sexual activity but CANNOT stop thinking about sex. I've only ever found one guy that I really have feelings for and he has a girlfriend. I have been pretty heartbroken from that experience. I really can't find another guy I like (college boys are immature) and don't want to force trying to find one. I am so horny it makes me moody. (Yes, I have done everything I can to please myself, but I need a man). Help? (link)
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Hey there :)
Hmmmm... let's see. I think losing your virginity is something pretty special and you need a person who knows what he is doing and should be capable of making it special for you.
I understand that the sexual needs of your body needs to be met. But if you can hold out for that special guy I think you should.. It would be more meaningful then. If not, do you have anyone in your life who treats you well and someone you are totally comfortable with? I mean someone who is a guy and with this person whom you are able share most of your thoughts with? If you have someone like that, then I think you can have needs sated.
I don't know how old you are.. but I have quite a few girlfriends who regretted losing their virginity in a meaningless encounter. I still think you should wait for a special guy ( I'm a romantic girl at heart) :)
Whatever you decide I hope things work out for you and make you feel special! :)
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does he like me (link)
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He might or he might not.. But for your sake I hope he does! :) Try telling him. You might actually find out :)
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Okay. So. I met this guy named Maik( but you just pronounce it Mike) I met him on Omegle. Its a online chatting thing. And well he looked older.. He lookes about 16.. So when he asked me how old i was. I said 16.. But turned out he was 14. And im 12.. I never knew that we would become such good friends.. But we did... And i want to tell him. But i dont know how. I just dont want to loose him.. (link)
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Hey!!
Okay, here's what you need to do - Next time you're chatting with him, tell him you have a confession to make and tell him you're 12 and the reason why you told him that you're 16. If he's really a good friend he will forgive you. He might be a little angry at first but he will understand. He's entitled to be angry with you. I don't know how long you've both been friends, so I can't tell you much. But good friends do forgive you. All the best!
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The situation is that, I have a best friend, who is in cliche kind of way, almost perfect. She's good at sports and maintains one of the best grades in school. She's also very nice.
It's because she's way too nice, it makes me very hard to resent her. I'm fine with being ignored but they kept calling me her lackey when I'm not; I try my best in keeping up expectations as the 'perfect''s friend but it gets so frustrating when I am giving it all but I still can't keep up with her and always being second best. I mean, she does everything with such little effort that I can't help felt that she's the genius and i'm the failed subject.
I've been coping with that for over 4 years but just half a year ago, she started dating with my crush whom she knew I like but thought I had got it over with. Being a socially awkward person, I kept my mouth shut and wished her the best because she did apologize when they started dating. But I really can't help but feel so jealous and irritated by her.
It got to the point where I wanted to scream at her and back-stab her so hard that it hurts. But I don't want to do that, we've been friends since middle school and I don't want to ruin that friendship for my petty emotions.
So the question is, how do I deal this? This pent up frustration and envy is so much that I swear I would explode anytime now. (link)
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Hey there :)
I think you are a nice person.
Firstly I think you should try and deal with your shyness - You could join some hobby classes like dancing, singing or even dramatics - any hobby that makes you feel happy learning and it should involve a group of people with whom you can start talking to. Try talking to people - initiate it. If you have any siblings seek their help. Try interacting with their friends. You just need to be confident. And confidence is something you'll gain by wearing nice clothes - clothes that make you feel good and happy and your feeling good in your skin is a big boost of confidence. Try to smile when greeting people. Do try not to shut yourself out when you're among people.
Secondly, dealing with your jealousy - I think most girls are jealous of their friends rather than of strangers. It's a common thing. Please don't beat your head about it. I even tell my friends I'm jealous if I like, say something like their dress, shoes, parents - anything :)
Please don't let your best friend be the whole part of your school life. And don't keep comparing yourself to her in every aspect. She's she and you are you. Never forget that. You are unique in some way. Like I said hobby classes help shape you - you'll get to be good at something.
For your studies I think you should try taking extra coaching if you are lagging behind in any subject. Work a little on that. Get your parents to help you.
Always try to be confident and wear a smile on your face. People like smiley and confident people more. You just need to build your confidence.
As far as your crush is concerned, you can try and be friends with him, you don't know what kind of a guy he is. Most of the time we girls listen to other people's opinions and we think some guy is great. He probably isn't like that. You can start by being friends with him. But be on a look out, you might just find your right guy somewhere near you.
I think you need to try and talk to your friend about you feeling jealous. Trust me, friends solve our problems like no one else :)
All that said I just want to say one thing - Equip yourself for easing your life but don't forget to be yourself.
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