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bad dreams from being molested
I am 24 year old female now I was molested by my dad when I was 3 years old and recently for the past week I have not been able to sleep because I have been having nightmares about what had happened when I was little and in my dream I was at my aunt's house and my daddy was arrested and then they put me in the police car and then put my daddy in another police car and then I every time I have this dream I wake up kicking screaming in a cold sweat and then when i am through kicking and screaming i am out of breath and can't breathe .Is this normal ? I talked to my cousin and my aunt about this and they asked me if my mom has ever mentioned it to me and I said yes I was just hoping she was lying is this normal for me to want my mom to be lying to me about something as terrible and tragic about something like this ? I feel bad because I want my mom to be lying and i am confused and scared . I just want the dreams to stop . my cousin says that everything is true she just wanted me to know that my mom is not lying so I wouldn't hold a grudge against her . my Aunt says he was arrested and at her house but she doesn't know how I know that when I wasn't at her house when he was arrested . How do I know that ? my mom didn't tell me that so how do I know ? my cousin and aunt are on my dad's side of the family if that helps. how do I get over this ? I never had these dreams before why now ? my cousin says if I have to to get over it to cut all ties like stop visiting my dad's grave at the cementary and get rid of alll pictures of him but my aunt says not to let this stop loving my daddy becuase my dad had alot of mental problems and he was just a sick man . my aunt says his daddy beat him with a handle of a butcher knife in the head and he was in the vietanam war got in a car accident and got shot up a light pole and got sprayed with agent orange and he was already mentally off before all this happened so should I let what he did go or do like what my cousin says be threw with him .
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I do not know your perception of the paranormal, but do you think that it was a memory he sent. Maybe he was trying to contact you. It is normal to have nightmares and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It is also possible when you were little, you overheard your mom or aunt talking about it and you just didn't remember it. I don't think forgetting him or stop going to his grave is going to make things better but I do thing you need to find some solace or peace. I would explore everything in the dream and figure out what it means, it might be your subconscious telling you something. Email me if you want to talk further.
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Is this normal? This is a yes and no answer. It is normal based on how this was most likely handled when it happened to you. Back then it was felt that someone your age would most likely forget about what happened if everyone just ignored it and never spoke of it.
I can't be sure what you were told though even at that young age you were able to wall this off and in a sense bury it in the recesses of your mind. The fact that you know that your dad was arrested at your Aunt's home is simple enough to answer. At some time you most likely heard another member of your family talk about it and you buried that information as well.
This was all normal for how parents acted at the time though it was wrong and it has hurt you in ways you are just now manifesting; which is also normal. Something has triggered the memory to come forward. The easiest time for these memories to come forward is in our sleep when the conscious mind is resting.
When someone is molested they suffer a trauma. We tend to associate things with different sights, sounds and smells. When you were molested by your dad something you saw, heard or smelled is associated with that trauma. Recently you saw, heard or smelled something that you associated with that trauma and it triggered the memory. This too is normal and since it has you now need to deal with it properly so you can move forward without reliving this each time this sound, sight or smell comes about.
What you need to do is to sit down with a clinical psychologist who is trained in this type of trauma. I would suggest you contact an organization called RAINN for help in locating a psychologist in your are trained in this type of need. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network.
By calling 1-800-656-HOPE you will be connected to a crisis center near you. A trained volunteer will answer your call. The call is totally confidential and the volunteer will talk with you as long as you need to speak with them. They will also assist you in finding the right professional to work with you to properly deal with what you now know has happened to you. This number is a 24/7 hotline you can call at any time.
Please call RAINN as they can help you and these nightmares will go away.
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Yes it is normal. and you need to for give him and let it go. I KNOW IT CAN BE HARD. Because i was molested when i was 3 too and by my brother. I am 17 about to be 18 and i still have bad dreams about it. When you forgive him (your dad) then you will fill better but you also need to forgive yourself. I knoow you didn't do it but you mite be blaming youself.But you could not do any thing to stop him.
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