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someone told me this is enabling what do you think
"Is it really worth the expense and effort? It seems to me that you are still trying to make her stay as comfortable as possible which is self defeating. If you want her to not only learn a lesson but believe she has a debt to society that needs to be paid, then you need to let her deal with what she's given. Sending her money for stamps and paper isn't enabling, but the fact you want to send her all this other crap and make her life a cushy as possible rather than exercising some tough love and telling her to deal with the consequences of her actions IS enabling her. "
[ ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
To be honest, I think that's stupid. She's in jail. Jail is not a fun place to be. When you're in there, it's because you made a mistake and you're paying for it. I guarantee you they don't let you forget that. Being in there is lesson enough. In addition, it's a depressing place to be. It's hard enough to be in there, let alone without the support of your family. Think about the most lonely time in your life and magnify it by 100. That's jail.
What you are doing is not enabling a criminal to repeat past crimes, what you are doing is showing your love for the woman that raised you. This isn't about what society thinks is best for her, this is about what you, as a daughter, think is right. In the end, the choice is yours to make.
whenever I have a conflict, I always just put myself in that person's shoes. If you were in your mom's position right now, would you want your family to send you things to show that they're thinking of you and want you to be well? Or would you want them to excommunicate you?
Besides, it's just some books. It's not like books will make the whole jail experience "cushy". ]
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