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Boyfriend and porn
My boyfriend enjoys porn, and I have no qualms with that. But im finding more and more that instead of coming to me for sex or other things he will just browse porn instead. I make it more than clear that i want him, a lot. I'm not sure how to approach the situation because I don't want to sound like the bitchy girlfriend that doesn't allow porn, but I'm really not like that. I just want to be the one that he goes to if he has those needs. I wouldn't mind if he used porn if i turned him away or something but it's like I'm his second choice. We have a good relationship otherwise, it has ups and downs, and when we do have sex it's great. So, what to do?
21/f
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If your gut feeling is that he is using you as choice number two, you're probably right. By the way you write, I can tell you aren't over reacting but looking at this objectively. Basically, you can have a talk and tell him you feel like his 2nd choice over porn. But at that age, a young man is just still in the stages of exploring his sexuality and learning and gaining experience. However my opinion, porn is not the place to go to learn how to please women sexually. If that's his reason, he should look elsewhere on the net such as understanding the physiology of male and female parts during orgasm, How a female achieves orgasm...what he can do to give her mind blowing sex.
If he is watching porn because he doesn't prefer to give out to please a partner but just wants a quick release for himself, then he has chosen the right thing but it is unfair to keep you hanging thinking that you are important to him.
If he is watching porn because he is even more sexual than you and once you are fully satisfied, he still had more need, then porn is great. Porn is all about the visual for a guy, it is not about pleasing a woman. Its a part of Hollywood, its all acting.
Watch this clip by Laci Green and her ideas on porn.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here's a clip on the physiology of orgasms...as taught to med students.
And finally a woman who talks about how to teach your guy what you need.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If your boyfriend would apply himself and learn how to have fun pleasuring you, once you've achieved full body g spot orgasms he will be able to give you g spot and a spot orgasms in intercourse and there's nothing more exciting for a guy than to feel the vagina squeezing in contractions and his female gushing or squirting the female equivalent of ejaculatory fluid, (not pee.) and feeling it run all over him. Grown men are like little boys with the best Christmas toy ever, they don't want to put it down but keep pulling this lever and pushing that button to watch what it does over and over. If you can't get this reaction out of him or he doesnt want to try...you re with the wrong guy dear, plain and simple.
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Maybe he's using porn to practice his future sex with you. The more porn he watches, the more he could learn about it and make your sex experience with him super awesome.
And I guess you could also talk to him about it a little. Like ask him why he watches so much porn instead of using that time to be with you. It never hurts to ask.
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