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Do I have an eating disorder?
19/f Most people think that you have an eating disorder when you're waay to skinny or really big. But the thing is that I'm quite normal sized. I weigh around 112 pounds and I'm 5'4".
I was quite big as a kid and started losing a lot of weight when I was around 10 years old. And ever since then my relationship with food was never normal. Even when I was big I always ate to make me feel better cause I didn't have any friends. After I lost weight I gained some again and then I continued starving, then I gained weight and then I starved again and so on. And that cycle never really stopped until today. I either eat way too much or nothing at all. I dont know how to eat normally. I don't really enjoy food. Either I shove it down my throat or I starve. And right now I have days where I starve and other days where I eat way too much. So I pretty much stay at the weight that I am now cause I'm constantly gaining and losing. Thing is I hate my body. I want to be thin so badly and I dont think that I am. I look at myself and I could cry. Sometimes I dont even shower cause it discusts me. I hate myself so much after I eat. And i have the urge to continue eating even though I'm full. I think about food all the time. When I'm starving I watch cooking shows so I can "eat" with my eyes which actually helps me (weird I know) And when I eat I hate myself all day for eating. I dont throw up my food though and I dont have anorexia. So do I have an eating disorder? Or is this a normal thing women go through? I have talked to my mom about it but she doesn't really bother. I think she thinks that it's normal or not a big deal. I mean she sees me eating and I'm not too skinny so why should she worry right? Is there something wrong with me? Or am I really just overreacting about this?
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Yes, you do have an eating disorder.
I think you could possibly have a binge eating disorder. Although most just keep eating and eating. Like then get upset when they eat, then they turn to food to make them feel better.
I looked into it a little more and these are the symptoms..
Eating unusually large amounts of food.
Eating when you're full or not hungry.
Eating until you are uncomfortably full.
Frequently eating alone.
Feeling that your eating behavior is out of control.
Feeling depressed, disgusted, ashamed, guilty or upset about your eating.
Experiencing depression or anxiety.
Feeling isolated and having difficulty talking about your feelings.
Frequently dieting.
Losing and gaining weight repeatedly.
Pretty much it turns into a cycle.
So I'm no expert on it, but that would be my guess. But no matter what it is, you need to see a doctor. This can get even more serious. It is better to get help, feel better about your body, and eat normally without feeling like crap.
Your mom probably doesn't see it as a big deal because you aren't anorexic looking. You look normal. And she sees you eating.
You don't want to always be thinking about your weight and hating yourself when you look in the mirror so definitely go get help for it.
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Do you have an eating disorder? I have to answer yes because of the way you eat and then starve. This is not normal. Your weight though is at the lower end of a small framed women of your height. This I would say is more by accident than by design.
You are by no means fat by any standard you wish to use. How you feel that your body is disgusting and you want to be skinny is just another signal that you have an eating disorder. You are by all measure skinny, almost too skinny.
What you need to do: First thing is to see you family doctor and discuss this problem with him or her. You need to have a complete physical to rule out any organic reasons. Then your doctor needs to refer you to another doctor or clinic that specializes in the care and treatment of persons with eating disorders.
I will go out on a limb here and say you are a borderline Anorexic. I'm not a doctor and really can't make that diagnoses. I have unfortunate watched a friend of the families daughter die of anorexia nervosa. She was a lead Ballerina for a New York Ballet Company. I won't go into detail other than to say it was a horrible thing to watch.
So please call your doctor today. Be very explicit with the doctor as you have been with us. Anorexia is a horrible, horrible illness you do not want to deal with.
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Yes, those are signs of an eating disorder. I am 5'3 and 110 usually. That is normal for me so you at 112 is not bad at all. Even if you were 118-120 that is still okay.
This issue is you not thinking your body is beautiful and being disgusted by it. To what are you comparing yourself if at all?
The ads we see for clothing, makeup, vacations, you name it, all have the prettiest looking, sexy people. on tv, magazines
Its all fake. The photos are airbrushed, the models have to have an unnatural low weight that is unhealthy because TV camera's tend to make a person look heavier than they are and younger than they are. Plus the celebrities without makeup, some look worse than I do as an average person. No one knows what natural beauty is any more so most women think they are deficiant in their looks somehow. Its just that not all get into an eating disorder over it but they are unhappy with their looks.
I suggest asking a college counselor to point you in the direction of help or if you are working, what your insurance plan covers on counseling, most have a one or two time free visit and after, you have to pay. But you could at least get some recommendations.
I also would like you to look up celebrities without makeup...before and after pics. And I Hhave one to share of what natural boobs for young women look like as well as women who have nursed. You will note that none look like the celebrities on tv.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Also, you need to realise that guys all have different tastes. The few who are attracted to the fake look of women do not make good boyfriends or husbands. The ones who like the natural, real woman, with her spots/freckles, wrinkles, zits, chub, fine hair, and silver hair are wonderful men who will know how to treat you right and a pretty face will never make them want to look elsewhere because they like you exactly as you are. I have some silver hair and my face has wrinkles. I still catch the eyes of men where-ever I go who like my particular look.
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