|
My boyfriend and past actions. Is he truly Sincere now
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 Months. In the beginning of June he came to me and said he wanted a break because he wasn't feeling as happy. We had so many tears and talked and talked to see if there really can be changes made. He kept saying " I feel like I met you too early because you're the woman I would spend the rest of my life with" We have did have a little break like he wanted I would say about a week. We normally see each other everyday. It was so devastating to me. I had no idea what I have done so wrong. We did talk and worked it out and pulled through. On July 4th I saw a conversation between him and his ex. Which I knew they talked but I didn't really feel comfortable. They were friends for quite sometime after and before the break up. 3 years all together I would say. I saw he was saying to her " The more and more we talk the more and more I like you" Her response she acted very surprised. But I saw this conversation occurred while he wanted a break. I brought it up to him and he said " I told her I don't think you and I should talk anymore because I don't want to hurt you anymore" But I feel Like the damage was done. Am I stupid for forgiving to some extent. Even though he said he is sorry and he said He feels so horrible for what he has done. He said he was stupid for doing any of that. He said he is now truly ready for us and to start our lives together. I love this man but am I stupid for wanting to forgive him. There was also another incident I saw him asking a co worker to hangout through text. Before all of this happened. He said he will just tell me he is at work or something to this girl. She felt like he wasn't being so faithful. I asked about that also and he tried to flip it on me that I freak out if he is talking to a girl. But now do you blame me? I absolutely am head over heels in love. I know I am. I am also scared now to rebuild this trust for the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well this is complicated. What bothers me when he said he wasn't happy, that he also said, "I feel like I met you too early because you're the woman I would spend the rest of my life with." He pretty much said he wished he met you later in life when he was ready to settle down and be faithful. So why wasn't he happy? Did he ever say why?
He shouldn't be friends with his ex. I know that it's been pretty common but it's really unnecessary especially when you're in a relationship. It just causes drama. He can be nice to his ex, like he doesn't have to hate her, but there is no reason to be friends with them.
Then the fact that he said he would lie to you to hang out with this girl.
I would be so angry, I don't know how he could try to flip it on you.
You may love him, but you can't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust. You are willing to rebuild the trust but sometimes you might be wondering when he's gone if he's talking to another girl.
It's your call. I wouldn't get back together with him. You deserve someone who doesn't pull all this crap and then think he can just apologize and have you back.
]
You say he repeatedly told you "I feel like I met you too early because you're the woman I would spend the rest of my life with"
What kind of baloney is that?
As far as I am concerned, any time is the right time if you think you're just met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
For him to say "too early" means he wanted more time to be single for a while. But then he wasn't single when he was married.
He can say whatever he wants so you may never know the real reason he left the ex. It could be because he decided he wasn't done living the bachelor life. He may not be the typical player always looking for a female conquest.
But if your guy thinks that if he were in a committed relationship he'd always battle a feeling that he is missing out on something, then that is a warning sign he could easily mess up and break your heart.
You may have feelings for the man which makes it harder for you to see things clearly. So ask others who know him well what they think of him and what he says about you coming along too soon. You need some perspective from those who know him better.
It is a good thing to know how to forgive. But forgiving doesn't necessarily mean staying with someone who is wishy washy. Also, it's not your job to figure out a way to make yourself trust him. He needs to earn that trust. If your inner voice is saying, I am still not comfortable with him, then no matter that you feel in love with him, the truth is you should not be with him. You can try to force the relationship but if you live every day doubting him or worrying, it will eventually build up in the end and kill your love for him or he senses how you feel and it kills him wanting to hang with you. Another warning sign is him accusing you of being the one with the issues. Only a person who is themselves deficiant in some way in their makeup is going to point at another as having a problem to take the focus off them. My ex was like that and also had mental illness. Many go undiagnosed so you dont know if that is the case with him. Whatever he is like right now will likely never improve over time because all humans are slow to change and make make no major changes at all in a lifetime. You have lots of things to think about. I hope this has given you some food for thought
]
He sounds like a real manipulator...
He may have broken up with you because he wasn't happy but he also broke up with you because he fell for someone eles. There is NO excuse to be in contact with an ex, They are drama and cause a butt load of problems for current relationships.
Really, You should have took it as an alarm knowing he was friends with her. Many people who friend an ex are generpeople who have a tough time letting go of the relationship. Unless there are children involved, An ex stays in the past.
I think you are really cutting your own rope with forgiving him, Yes. Anyone who has the balls to disrespect and betray me in anyway would be packing their bags. I am old school, You are with me and give me as much respect as I give you or pack your shit and hit the door. Put your foot down girl, You aren't a doormat.
]
More Questions: |