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Parents don't like piercings/how can I learn to stop seeking their approval
I've had my lobes pierced since I was a little girl - and that's about the only piercing that my parents are OK with. I used to beg them to let me get my lobes double pierced, or a cartilage piercing, etc. They told me when I was old enough to get them by myself (you have to be 18 in my state) then they wouldn't stop me.
I'm 18 now and would like to start getting some of the piercings that I've always wanted. However, I obviously still live with my parents, and even though they know that I plan on getting some piercings, I feel really uncomfortable going out and doing something that they disapprove of.
I feel like I'm supposed to just enjoy my freedom and do what I want to now. However, I still feel really bad doing things that I technically can do, but that my parents don't like or don't approve of. How can I just relax and stop fearing their disapproval?
Thanks :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
As an adult you can and are expected to make choices as well as your own mistakes too. I'm not saying this is a mistake but rather illustrating that you are now in the driver's seat and have to do what feels right to you.
It's a good thing that you would never want to do something to upset them but reality is sometimes you will and you can't help that nor can you control their reaction or for that matter anyone's.
What I would do is tell them "I'm 18 now and although you don't like the idea of piercings I'm telling you before I do it that I have an appointment and will be getting X, Y, Z" Then outline why you have wanted it and for how long. They may hate it but at least you consulted them.
If you fear their wrath all the time you will never be able to do anything. Letting them know before you do it will prepare them. I would go one step further.
Tell them "I know you hate the idea of these piercings but I would like you to be at the appointment to see how it's done." Maybe if they see how clean and professional it is they'll be okay. They even said at 18 it's your choice and likely mean that.
I think the problem is they are afraid of how others will pre-judge or perceive you in public, for jobs etc depending on how a piercing alters your appearance and or face. However, what you told us about ear piercings are pretty tame in comparison to some of the ones that are way out there.
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If you are old enough, you should have no worries.
If you are considering the tongue, brow, belly button also, keep in mind that it might hinder some people from hiring you as it doesnt go with the company image. Told my daughter the same. She got her brow pierced and couple weeks later was offered a job but was told she'd have to take out the piercing...ahahaha....she did. I don;t know how much your parents made decisions for you before but its high time you make any decisions for yourself. No one should be trying to live their life through you. You are old enough to know the difference between something that is bad like hooking up with a drug addict boyfriend or drinking and driving drunk or while texting, or something that is not as widely accepted by everyone socially, like coloring yThere's more I need to tell your hair blue, piercings, tats, deciding you're bi-sexual, etc...none of that is anyone elses business and you need to get past the fear of man...the fear of what anyone elses reactions will be. Express your self any way you like, as long as it harms no one including you there is no harm in it. Enjoy your life!!
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