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What's going on with my boyfriend
15/f
Hello. I have been dating a guy for three months. We are both 15. I've been friends with him for a year, had a crush on him almost that whole time, and everything had been going great. He's not popular, he's quiet, and I thought he was just the nicest guy ever. He treated me great, wanted to hang out with me all the time, said he loved me, kissed me... I couldn't have been happier. We never fought or anything, and I thought I'd found a cute, nice, smart, funny guy who really liked me. He was mature, chivalrous, complimentary...everything I could ask for.
Of course, everything had to change. Last week he became a different person. He told me I sound obnoxious and I talk too loud, that I'm boring when I don't talk (he literally froze all last week and barely talked, so I didn't want to keep blabbering on when he wasn't reciprocating), and I think he may like this other girl we're friends with. They've only recently become friends. That girl is really nice and funny, but tons of people think she's annoying because she does not stop talking, and she is NOT attractive. I am considered attractive. But he's been lighting up when she comes around, and today at school he told me that seeing her for five minutes at the end of the schoolday is "the highlight of his day." That REALLY hurt me. So, after he said that, I flat out asked him if he liked her and he said "EW, no." He used to text me every day (until one week ago!) and when we would say goodnight he would tell me he loves me or send a heart or SOMETHING. Now, IF he texts me at all, and IF he bothers to send a good night text, it will either simply say "good night" or sometimes just "k."
I have no idea what to do. He's never been like this before. He's a different person all of a sudden. I'm still in love with him and I don't want to break up with him. Also, last weekend was the first weekend we didn't hang out (I asked him to and he said he couldn't...but he doesn't do any extracurricular activities). I don't smother him. We both have other friends. I don't know what happened and why he's acting this way, and I have no idea what to do. How can I get back to how we used to be? I had never been happier in my life, and all of a sudden he's become mean and disconnected and just weird. Thank you.
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Well you obviously know something is up. It was a definitely rude of him to talk about another girl like that. In my opinion, he's trying to show you that he's losing interest.
Honestly, you can't change that. You're a good girl who tries to respect him and his boundaries.
I've noticed in young couples, they don't stay together very long because someone eventually gets bored. When you're young, it's just fun, most guys won't take relationships seriously.
I'm not saying this is the reason why he's being like this, but it's a possible one.
You have two choices if you want to be with him. You can either talk to him about this and tell him you miss how he used to be and you want to know what's changed. If he starts accusing you, tell him that you will work on those things. Then if he keeps this up, bring it up again and show him that you've been putting effort into this relationship.
The other option is to let it be and see if he starts going back to normal.
My advice is to at least talk to him. Tell him that you just want the truth. Don't start accusing him, pointing fingers and telling him everything he's doing is wrong. Just tell him that it worries you and you care a lot about him.
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Something doesnt add up concerning his statements, that she is 'the highlight of his day'' and right after in response to 'do you like here' an answer of "Ewww, no". You dont get an ew. icky feeling about someone who lights up your day.
Since its not a gradual change but sudden, I'd say there is some external influence or occurance in his life that caused him to flip his personality.
Do sit and have convo with him. If he won't open up, only thing I can think of is, asking other people who know him well if they have noticed a change in his behavior. If everyone agrees, keep a close watch and if his behaviour becomes self destructive such as suicidal, then alert school counselors. Otherwise there isn't much you can do but pray for him and ask his angels to help your friend through his hard time.
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I'd be stupid to come here and say it's one thing specifically, because let's face it, only you know this person. Judging by what you wrote though, something is definitely up. I advise you sit down and talk to him. Ask him what's on his mind, if there's anything he wants to share. Tell him that you miss the person you fell in love with, and if that by any chance that person might come back. Give him the confidence to be open about what he's thinking, even if it hurts you, it's better to know the truth. Who knows? He might be having problems at home or some other logical explanation. I really hope you guys can get through this little rock in the path, you sound like a loving couple! Hope this helps.
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I'd be stupid to come here and say it's one thing specifically, because let's face it, only you know this person. Judging by what you wrote though, something is definitely up. I advise you sit down and talk to him. Ask him what's on his mind, if there's anything he wants to share. Tell him that you miss the person you fell in love with, and if that by any chance that person might come back. Give him the confidence to be open about what he's thinking, even if it hurts you, it's better to know the truth. Who knows? He might be having problems at home or some other logical explanation. I really hope you guys can get through this little rock in the path, you sound like a loving couple! Hope this helps.
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