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Competition with friends?
So basically, me and this friend of mine are extremely alike. We mirror each other down to our very actions (even things such as morals and humor and art.) We even get confused of being twins or sisters a lot of the time.
She's a great friend, but she's also my boyfriends ex girlfriend(from years ago.)
Granted, they only dated for about a month, and it was awhile ago- However I feel like if they were ever to meet they would connect again.
My feelings only felt more validated when I had a dream the other night. The dream went that she was just better than me in every way shape and form - Doing everything I've done but better- and my boyfriend was head over heels for her.
I don't know where this is coming from, but I feel like I have a seed of jealousy growing inside of me , due to my friendship with her.
And in reality- I do feel a bit of jealousy towards her in those aspects -
We tend to copy each other a lot , she usually buys the same things I buy/ material things like that.
But lately - it's been getting on my nerves.
I feel questionable towards my identity-- for some odd reason - is this normal?
We have plans to start an online shop together , and she's kind of been feeding off of all of my ideas. I'm starting to question my friendship with this girl, but I know none of this is her intention.
I feel like if she can steal my ideas , she can steal my boyfriend-
For my own sanity - I need advice
How can I block out these feelings, or finally discard them once and for all?
Thanks so much,
--The Inferior One
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Hello there!
First things first, I would like to start by allaying your concerns over the dream about your friend being better than you. People tend to dream about things that they have been over thinking and paranoid about and is up pose this issue has robsbly been on your mind for days hence the possible occurrence of such a dream. Have you asked your boyfriend why they broke up initially? Perhaps it was due to differences which resulted in their incompatibility which I can safely say will not change over the years. If though are still worried, perhaps thou can tock to your friend about this and assuming that she is a good friend, I assure you she will understand your perspective. As for your irritation towards her copying you, I honestly believe that it is due to the jealously... After all, even a persons sneeze can irritate another if one is jealous of the other. Your boyfriend chose to be with your for a reason. And remember that, you are always special in your own way, different, but ntuc inferior! :)
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My advice would be to talk to her. If she is a good friend, and treats you well and it's the jealousy that is what's bothering you, then you need to talk it out to her and have her reassure you.
The other option is to dump her as a friend. But seriously, like I said, if she is truly a good friend then keep her.
You could work on your friendship by distancing a little bit. Find time to do new things so that you could make yourself feel a little better by not feeling the exact same as her.
If she can steal your boyfriend, he obviously wasn't a good boyfriend. Remember that.
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Dear Inferior One
Sometimes having things in common with people are wgat creates a good friendship. If her behavior is becoming obsessive or overwhelming for you, Then I would talk to her about how it bothers you. You see, I can't help but assume you are jealous in the aspect that you fear your boyfriend will become attracted to her considering you both share simularties. Rather I believe she may in fact idolize you but even so, Copying excessively can be quite annoying.
I would talk to her definitely and maybe even back off on the friendship some. Give her time to learn how to be independent upon herself and not others.
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