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New step-dad being really perverted.
My mom recently got married to a guy who's 15 years younger than her, and lately he's been acting very unfatherly-like towards me. My mom goes out to work and when I get out of school its just me him and my other siblings. At first he wasn't so weird...I mean we'd say good morning, and then pretty much avoid each other all day. Then he started sitting with me at breakfast, trying to converse. After, we started talking more and more and I guess we opened up more to each other. However about a month ago, things started getting really weird. He started asking me really awkward questions like "are you a virgin"and "when are you planning to lose it"...he also kept asking me about my relationship status, and things I just wasn't comfortable discussing with him. And after a while, those kinds of things seemed to be the only things he wanted to discuss. After those conversations, things started getting even more odd and disturbing. He makes comments about my chest or my butt. He started getting really touchy-feely with me. When I'd be in the kitchen he'd like wrap his arm around my waist, and when we'd sit on the couch and watch tv together, he'd get really close to me and sometime he brushes up on me and I just try to avoid him. At first I really tried to convince myself that he was just trying to be fatherly. However, I soon realized this wasn't the case as he started saying really innapropriate things and looking at me in a creepy way. Not that long ago he even tried to slip his hand into my shirt in a "jokey" kind of way if that even makes sense. After I'd asked him why he'd done that he told me he was just playing around and that he wasn't serious. I really doubt that. I really don't know what to do at this point...I'm not 100% sure that he's not playing around...but then again I feel really disgusted and violated by him. I really don't want to start unnecessary drama...and plus my mom would not believe me. My mom has been in & out of me and my siblings lives, other ppl have raised us and then she gets us back and she's barely there, when she doesn't have a job, she's out of town with her friends partying and my step dad helps with the bills. If I told her she would start a huge fight with me and not believe me. I'm really freaked out! I keep thinking about it and He has been looking at me weird
i want to tell my mom. what if she doesnt believe me? And I don't want to be away from my brothers and sisters
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He may well be trying to just be fatherly but from everything you have said it does sound very suspicious but the thing that is the most important here is that YOU feel you have been violated or he has crossed the line with you and this is all that is important at this point. It could have just been him joking around it might not have been unfortunately there is no way to tell and in a situation like this it is a really difficult thing. All I can suggest is you talk to your mom and just explain to her what has happened and how you are finding it creepy or inappropriate and see what she has to say.
I have no idea how she will react but I think it would be in your best interest to tell her that this is going on. If it is all just a misunderstanding then she can talk to him and just tell him there is a line and he needs to be careful about crossing it because not everyone will see it as innocent as he sees it. If this happens then see how things go from there and see what he is like with you and with your siblings. If he says or comments about something you find inappropriate then tell him so he knows this.
It may well be nothing but I think bringing this to your moms attention will be the best thing to do but also note that yes it might be nothing and yes your mom may ignore it but if it continues then I suggest you speak to someone else who will be able to look into it such as a counsellor at your school/college or even the parents of a close friend. I would like to think this is nothing more than a misunderstanding but at the same time you just never know what a persons true intentions are so you need to be sure that you are protecting yourself and your siblings.
Speak to your mom, give her just the facts (what happen and how it make you feel uncomfortable) and go from there.
Good luck.
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You should try recording him
Whether he is joking or not he has crossed the line far to many times. You should try to at least let your mother become aware of the situation. Although she may not fully believe you at first, She will keep an eye out a bit more as ut will be in the back of her mind. This guy is being a creep and is harrassing you. If he tries to touch you, Tell him straight up to back off! Lock your bedroom door at all times but you need to let your mother become aware of this.
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