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break up?
Just had our one year anniversary like 5 days ago...
I just got back from out of town this weekend and I really missed him, sending him texts/pictures; I thought we were at a good place before I left but when i got back today he was busy playing video games and acted like I wasn't there or mattered. I told him he was annoying me so I didn't talk to him and I planned on going to bed but that didn't happen. I ended up taking a cab to a friends house because I didn't want to be around him, he didn't really stop me...does he not care about our relationship? I left his house before I could even call the cab so I walked to the nearest gas station. He appeared there a couple minutes later but where was he when I was walking out the door? He didn't say much besides why don't i just go back and go to sleep and stop being irrational. Cab came just in time and I left so here I am wondering what i should do..
Here's some background info about our relationship:
on/off relationship for the past year
had 3 breakups/breaks
he's jobless, car-less and is always broke
i feel like i support him most of the time
we're both in college and graduating in may
SO my question is should we just break up?
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Sounds to me like you want more out of the relationship your in. Clearly, You are not happy.
So yes agreed with Razhie, Do you want to break up?
If you have nothing to talk about then maybe this is the end of your misery. It takes two to make it work and the key is too comminicate. I do not see where you properly tried to communicate before walking out.
Sometimes we need to learn to except things or move on from them. From the sound of it you are fed up and feel like he is no more of a burden.
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Do you want to break up?
You guys have been on and off for a year. It sounds like you may live together already. You are both coming towards a big change in your lives (Graduation) and neither of you seem interested in talking about - anything - at all.
We can't judge a relationship from this one little snippet of an event. These things don't happen in glass jars - there was a lot leading up to this. Does your boyfriend have a video game habit that is destructive? Is he depressed and trying manage that? Did you tell him you wanted to do something for your anniversary when you got home or did you just expect him to figure that out on his own? Did he know you were dropping by that night? Did you ask him to stop playing video games and hang out with you? Did you suggest something economical that you might be able to do together?
It takes two people to make something work - you've told us clearly that your boyfriend wasn't doing that work last night, but you haven't really told us that you were trying to make it work either. You left. Which is fine, but it's not a solution.
So, it's really up to you - Do you want to break up? If you don't even want to bother fighting with him, then maybe it is time to call it quits all together.
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I honestly feel that people expect too much out of relationships. Such as "Why doesn't he give me all his time? Why doesn't he come after me when I walk away?" etc. But if you really think about it, because women are so confusing, men don't know what to do. We're one way one day, then another on a different day. Then we get angry when they don't do what we wish them to. This is why most relationships don't last, because the women, in my opinion, expect way too much. If you truly do want your relationship to work out, meet on equal ground. He likes video games? Let him play, if you want to interact a bit more, see if it's a two player and join in, who knows? You may enjoy it, and there's something you two can do together. If you are truly that frustrated in caring for him, perhaps sit down and talk with him, and tell him it's getting difficult for you to provide for the both of you, and that you feel he should get a job, if not a full time, then at least a part time. If he can't meet you on equal footing, then perhaps you both are better off breaking up. I mean, if you two prefer different things, and cannot come to a compromise, it's not going to work either way, and since you are getting irritable due to the supporting of him, it may not work out at all. Just do what you feel would be best. Who knows, you may be able to find someone who'll meet your needs. But do remember, everyone has their flaws.
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