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I am 21 and my parents want me to give my baby up for adoption
I am 21 years old, and pregnant. I am about 4 months along. My boyfriend and I were living together, but now he has decided to beat me up and kick me out, so i live alone in a hotel. I told my dad I was pregnant and the first thing he said was "don't worry about anything, you have family who loves you and will help you." the next day he said "have you considered adoption for your baby? i want it to have the opportunity to have a normal life." what the fuck? I am an adult. it's not like i'm 16. I will admit, I don't have a job. I want to find one but there has been no luck. I have never had a real job. I have some mental problems. but it is mild autism and attention deficit disorder. people have always told me i can have a normal life despite being autistic. I have high functioning autism, which is autism without a learning disability. if anything, it's just a diagnosis. it means i am socially awkward and inappropriate and impulsive at times. my friends dont even know. my ex boyfriend doesnt know. i got this diagnosis ages ago, more than ten years ago. why do my parents think I can't be a good mother to my child? I also think they might be racist, because my ex boyfriend is Mexican. he lives in mexico. i concieved the baby in mexico. i live in mexico, and I am Italian american. my parents live in new york in the united states and have never been to mexico and say they are scared for me everyday. I'm not in danger. I plan to have the baby in california, since I will need to recieve WIC. It hurts me that they dont want this grandchild. My brothers who are 24 and 26 have toddlers now, and of course that means that they were having kids at around age 21.Surely my parents didnt say this to them? but then again, they married, they went to college, they have jobs, and their babies arent biracial. and they are male. honestly, my parents have given them more oppurtunities than me, by paying for their college, buying them cars, helping them find jobs through friends, etc. my parents never did these things for me, either because I am a girl, or because i am autistic, or because i am the youngest...i dont know.
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I think you should decide what you want to do. It's not your parents life and its not they're choice to put the baby up for adoption!Having friends that grew up in adoption centers I know how hard it is they wonder everyday why would someone give me up?Get a job get a house and decide If YOU want this baby
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i think your a very smart person and would look like a mother who will care alot for this child. i think you should get the baby, try to find a job and be there for that child.. anyone would be lucky to have you as a mom ..wishes you all the best may god bless.
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Don't listen to your fucking parents. If you want a baby you can have a baby. Your 21 years old. They can't force you to give your baby away or anything.
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You live in a hotel, you have no job, no co-parent to help you raise this child, you don't sound like you have much of a plan other than moving to California so you can receive WIC benefits.
What parent wouldn't be thinking the way they are?
They said they want the baby to have the opportunity at a normal life. And what are you doing to provide any sort of life to this child??
I'm not saying give up your baby. No, no. Not at all. But I am saying that your parents don't dislike or don't want your child. They want what's best.
Why not start focusing on what you need to start doing -right now- to get on your feet and be a provider for this child. I'm raising my kids with my husband's help. Its hard enough with help. You're getting ready to go it alone... You need to get your shit together.
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You are unemployed, unprepared to provide for a child, with no place to live, dependent on the state for basic medical care for you and your child, have an ex-boyfriend who doesn't want to be a father and who you'd probably have to go a Mexican consulate in order to get him to pay any support cross-boarder - which you might realistically never see a dime of.
I don't think this has a thing to do with you having autism, or anything to do with your brothers.
Given your circumstances, it's reasonable for your parents to suggest adoption.
You have no idea, and have offer no plan, of how you are going to survive. How you are going to fed yourself or your child.
You may be mentally prepared to be a good mother. You might be a wonderful person. But being a 'good mother' isn't going to keep your child healthy and provided for.
Your parents would be stupid, cruel and careless if they DIDN'T suggest adoption to you, given the fact that you do not, at this point, have any way to provide for this child.
You should start to make a plan. And while you are researching that plan, it should include a serious consideration of adoption.
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