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In intimate relationship with Older man who sends mixed messages confused.
Hi I have been romantically involved with a man much older than me for 6 months now and have decided to leave him and move back home with my parents. I can recognize that I am doing this/ testing him to see if he really loves me- he will ask me to stay with him. He always sends me mixed messages telling me he loves me and then calling me a bitch/ verbally abusing me. I can't tell if he cares about me because he is an erratic unpredictable man. I am addicted to being with him and am codependent on him. I don't know what to do help???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
You know he's abusive, and a bit crazy. You know your dependency on him is unhealthy and destructive.
An erratic, abusive and mentally unbalance man MAY truly love you - but is that a good enough offer for you? To be loved, but to be treated poorly, forever, by someone who doesn't want too (and perhaps can't) treat you well.
I've dated older men throughout my 20s and had a good time doing so, but I do have to admit in hindsight that most of them were still single for good reasons. They were stuck I thier ways, and in many ways, were emotionally immature and had some strange ideas of what a woman should 'provide' for them, rather than what healthy and respectful relationships between equals should entails.
Regardless of my experience, you know this guy is bad for you. You are a less heathy person with him, than you would be without him.
Okay. So leave him. Move out. No testing. No waiting by the phone. Get a hobby. Join a book club. Don't take his calls. Break the hell up.
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I may be very biased because i have been hurt alot in the past but i know how much it would hut but i think you can do better. no woman deserves a guy that calls her a bitch and verbally abuses her, you have to find someone who loves you unconditionally and appreciates you. and it doesnt really seem like he does, as hard as that is to say.
goodluck, i know its a very hard situation.
Kaaitlyn
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