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Is it bad to hope to find a wealthy man?
I know it sounds bad but I'm sick and tired of doing everything I can to further myself and still not having enough money to have the things I really want/need.
Seriously I graduated with honors, have 2080 volunteer hours, took first place both years in a row in Future Business Leaders of America for IT, have all of the Adobe Certifications and I have a full time job plus overtime working for a corporate company.
Where have I gotten from there? NOWHERE and I'm so SICK OF IT! Why am I working this hard when I can't even afford to move out or get a car of my own?!
I saw an episode of Dr.Phil about these guys who call themselves "Sugar Daddies" and give these girls who pretty much just look pretty and hang out with them (though I assume sometimes sex is included) anything they want. One of the women had SEVEN luxury cars and a mansion and the guy was also paying her way through law school.
The other girls had pretty much everything they wanted as well for pretty much nothing...they were all filthy rich and no older than 30.
So now I keep thinking well why can't I do that?
I'm pretty, smart, young and have nothing to lose! I have no car, no place of my own I come home exhausted to be bitched at by my mom and shelling out $750 a month to her to make her shut up. I have no life so why not make myself one?
I signed up for one of the sites already and right away I got messages from rich men talking about beautiful I was and how attractive it was that I was intelligent too. Some of them even offered to fly me out to see them and one of them even wanted me to come stay with him in his mansion and offered me a great job with his company that he proved to me existed.
Being an idiot I haven't said yes to any of them.
I'm so scared that one of them will kidnap me, rape me, kill me or force me into staying with them against my will because they'd know I would have nowhere else to go.
So I keep going to work every day and living a boring life not getting anywhere and talking to others just like me not getting anywhere and just being buried in debt and misery.
One of the guys from the site I decided I wanted to meet day after tomorrow so we're meeting at a sushi place in town (so as not to put myself in danger). We've been talking for weeks and he's not super rich but he's very well off and not looking for sex out of me. He's looking for an actual relationship which I really like and he lives in my state and often travels for his job so I figured that would give me time in between to really figure out if I could really have a relationship with him. The problem is if my mom ever found out she would freak out. He's in his 40's but I don't care. I've always liked older men anyways and he seems very genuine.
I hope to find somebody though who's VERY rich and winds up buying me a car or something really awesome like that.
Is this bad? I've just worked so hard and I don't see myself going anywhere without the help of a wealthy person and this seems like the perfect thing to do...
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Whether or not it's "bad" is subjective. Everyone has their own set of beliefs and morals, so what's wrong to one person may be fine to another. I definitely agree that this is a risky situation, and something you need to do a lot of thinking about before you get too far into it. It could, in some ways, be compared to prostitution, depending on how you look at it. But if it's between two consenting adults, both who know exactly what type of relationship it is and what's to be expected, then I guess it's not a huge issue. You definitely need to be careful and take every possible step to protect yourself. There are bad people everywhere, you can't always avoid them, but you should have some safety measures in place.
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Is it bad? Not necessarily, but let's call a spade a spade: What you are thinking about doing isn't just 'finding a rich man to date' - being a Sugar Baby is sex work.
Lets be even more honest - if you are in it for the money and the cars, BE in it for the money and the cars and don't go for the guys are looking for 'real relationships'. THAT is where it crosses the line to dishonesty and being a user - rather than a mutual agreement between two adults who are on the same page.
If you know what you want, go for the guys that are offering what you want. If you want marriage and kids, go on eHarmony and only date richer guys. If you want cash and cars, then stay where you are.
Even if you don't actually have sex with these men, it is still so close to sex work, that you are very right to be afraid. It carries many of the same risks as sex work: IE, the risk of violence, of rape, and the risk of being stalked or threatened, the risk of having your private affairs aired publicly, the risk of vindictive wives or girlfriends, and the the risk of not being taken seriously by law enforcement if you need to go to the police.
So you need to have safety measures in place. Friends who know what you are doing, and who you are meeting where and when. Someone you can call if you get into trouble. Perhaps another local 'Sugar Baby' will team up with you to be each other backup. Many girls will use false names, dummy email accounts and burner phones to keep their real identities closed off from their Sugar Baby life.
Finally, remember being a Sugar Baby isn't a career choice. It's something you can really only do into your mid-thirties and there no 'job security'. You can be fired at any point and have no safety net. You need to recognize that the vast majority of these men are not looking to be married. They are looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement (many of them, are doing so behind their wives back). They want to pay you for affection and sex, they don't want to pay you alimony after the divorce.
So go ahead. Keep yourself safe. Go after what you want. But don't lie to yourself or others. You are giving these guys what a prostitute would call 'The Girlfriend Experience'. If you want to trade money for sex and affection, do that, but don't fake out nice guys (or not so nice guys as the case may be) who think they want to turn their sex worker into their girlfriend. That's a bad path for everyone, including you.
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