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new boyfriend! (But my parents will NOT approve)
I got a new boyfriend but I'm not sure if my parents will approve. he is so nice but he has got tattoo's and piercings. my parents will judge him immediately and not let me be with him, even though he has got a steady job, he treats me amazingly and i love him loads. he is two years older than me and waited until i was 16 just so that it was a legal relationship too. i love him but what do i do if they won't let me see him again??!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
My bf (now husband going on 26 years) wasn't liked at first by my parents because he had an earring (back in the 80's it was very unusual for a guy to have an earring)and longish hair. My dad actually forbade me from seeing him but I disobeyed him because I knew if he got to know him he'd love him like I did. Sure enough, both my parents fell in love with him rather quickly after he came over to the house more often. So give your parents the benefit of the doubt. Hang out around your house so your parents can get to know him. Which at 16, you should any way.
Good luck!
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Let's face it no matter who you bring home your parents will always find faults because nobody is good enough for their son or daughter in this case. It's just how parents are.
Here's what I would do. I would explain to the boyfriend that they are conservative to the hilt and don't like piercings or tattoos so you're nervous about the first meeting.
Then have him arrange with his parents to have dinner with all of you together with them so they can meet his family and see he's from good parents and is a responsible and decent guy tattoo or piercings aside.
And yes, I wholeheartedly agree with what the previous advice giver said about judgment and book by cover so I won't rehash it. If you introduce him in this manner your parents will see him in the same light you do.
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One thing you have to remember about their parents is that they love you, want what's best for you, and will protect you in any way. Sometimes to a fault. One day you'll have kids and totally see where they are coming from, believe me.
You know they're going to want to meet him, so there is no way around that. If they don't want to let you see him again, ask them do they not trust you?
Have they not raised you to have good judgement?
Aren't we all taught that one should NEVER judge a book by it's cover?
Would they approve of you having dinner dates with your parents at your home so they can get a chance to really get to know him and see that he is more than just an appearance?
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This is a tricky one, because obviously you think your parents have a vision of what their daughters boyfriend should looke like, and you think they wont like him because of his appearance?
Well I think the first thing to remember is that you're 16-legal, so it's kinda not their choice anymore-you just have to make them see that.
Firstly, you need to step into your parent's shoes. It's hard to do, but it should help. Think about the ideal person they would want you to be with. DOn't think about image, think about things like humour, caringness, intelligence etc.
Does your boyfriend match these qualities? If so, then it's the second part, convincing your parents.
You need to sit them down and explain you understand pre conceptions your parents may have, but to then ask if they cans see beyond them. Mention that you appriciate they want the best for you, and to be happy, and that this guy does make you happy.
If they don't come round and don't let you see them again, then I think there may be a bigger issue for you to sort out-overprotective parents?. In two years time you'll be a legal adult, and they can't have such a powerful input into the desisions you make anymore.
Also consider if this guy is really worth it, or whether because you can't be with him you want him more. Its a bridge every daughter has to overcome with their parents, and though it's tough, the sooner you do it the better relations will be I think.
Good luck :)
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