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My mum: I am having trouble dealing with the things she does, and her constantly taking her boyfriend's side over her daughter!
It is difficult to write this, I'm feeling angry as I do but anyway here goes.
I'm 16 and live with my mum.
My mum is always saying that she has no money and that were moving house as a result of this but she is always buying herself new clothes, shoes and even films. I haven't had a new item of clothing in a while and every time I ask her for some she always says the same thing! "I have no money" its so annoying and gets me do angry. The other day I showed her the state my shoes were in and I had to throw them away because the bottom was hanging off, she just sort of changed the subject. Today she came back with a brand new pair of shoes for herself saying her old ones were ruined, all that was wrong with them was that they just lost their colour a little bit. I just went upstairs and listened to music.
Another thing she does is whenever I pick something up that she doesn't want me to (bearing in mind she's never told me she doesn't want me to) she doesn't say "could you put that down please" she just yells "LEAVE THAT ALONE" its so frustrating! She always blames me for everything and when I do get fed up and say "no, it wasn't me, stop saying everything is my fault!" she just laughs it off and says "someone's got to be blamed " like it's some sort of joke.
This is her nice side, believe it or not.
When her boyfriend/partner comes round she acts even worse and always takes his side.
It's not that I don't like him, because I do. Whenever he's round she never takes my side, she always takes his and whenever he says something that annoys me and I'm about to say something she gives me that 'shut the hell up' look.
I've put up with it for so long and I'm just fed up with it now. I've tried to confront her about it but I'm never right :\
I just don't know what to do.
And no, I'm not one of those people who says they want to kill themselves. Nothing will make me want to do that.
Answer with your opinions on my situation and any solutions of things I can do?
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Clearly the first thing you need to do about this if you can is talk to your mum. Ask her how she is-she sounds a little stressed out to be quite honest.
Perhaps financial worries are whats stressing her out. Remember for 16 years this lady has bought you up and paid you're way etc...whats up with her treating herself to a new pair of shoes once in a while.
Also, do you have a part time job? Though hard to get, it may help her out if you actually earnt money to buy your own clothes and things. Finance can be quite a big burden.
Also whats this about not agreeing with what her boyfriend says? It's best not to take sides I think-to reduce stress for everyone. Sometimes, when I don't agree with things people say I just let it go, because an argument is not worth it, plus people just think you're having a young persons tantrum so your opinion doesn't count.
If you want me to be totally honest, I think you should stand on your own feet abit. Obviously I don't know you and your situation, but if you earnt abit of money either through ebay or a part time job, if you focus on a career to work towards and if you act mature and just let little tiffs go, relations could be alot stronger.
I understand about the shoes being unacceptable-and for as long as your mum is your legal gaurdian she should at least provide you with basics like this, however there are many kids, when I was you're age, that wern't given any kind of allowance, and no trendy clothes and have to make do with what there was. By the way I'm two years older than you.
So starting point? Talk to your mum and ask her for some new shoes! Then explain how you feel about how she treats you, and reassure her that as a loving daughter you'll support her with anything that she wants.
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It sounds to me like her boyfriend is controlling her. I know because thats happened to me before with my aunt. What you needto do is not get so mad at your mom, its probably not her fault. I would look closer into this guy if i were you. And make sure hes not takeing abuseive power of her. Try to spend more time with your mom too, if that makes him mad then he just doesent like you.
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