|
My mother is so unemotional and insensitive
My mom and dad are the ultimate dynamic duo team. Whatever he says goes and she doesn't question him on any level at all whatsoever, even when he's being totally irrational, which he is often. A lot of the time my dad acts like such a baby and I know my mom knows it, yet she goes through the motions of supporting him NO MATTER WHAT. She doesn't have any of her own opinions and wait for him to share his point of view on literally anything before deciding what she thinks. ugh. There is nothing that has made me more upset, angry, or unloved throughout my life. If my mom had to choose her children or her husband, it would without a doubt be him. It makes me feel like a worthless piece of garbage.
My dad and I have had many fights over the years because unfortunately, I may be following his emotional footsteps and similar personalities clash. She has never once supported me. When I was younger, my parents decided that therapy was in order but NOTHING about my dad and his personality/issues were addressed, only what I was doing wrong.
My mom is such an insensitive brick wall. She never shows emotion or vulnerability and makes fun of me when I show emotion. If I go to her crying because I'm upset about something that happened during the day (I've had some anxiety issues in high school) she'll dismiss me and give me some one word response in a tone like she's talking about the weather. My mom never looks me in the eye nor does she do so with her parents or my brother. HOWEVER, of course my dad gets treated like a royal king and if god forbid he gets upset the world is over and she feels oh so bad for him.
She has literally told me many times that she doesn't care about my feelings. I know for a fact that she loves him way more than her children. I've tried to talk to her and I've confronted her but to no avail. She will never change. She is a cold, brick wall to anyone but my dad and nothing will ever change that.
My entire life, I've felt like the two of them are in this superior orbit that's totally above the rest of the world, including my brother and me. This is the way they act. Maybe this is why I have self-esteem issues and feel inferior to people all the time? I especially feel inferior when I'm with couples. I want a boyfriend so badly...
I have a mother who has literally expressed many times that she doesn't care about my feelings. SHE MAKES ME SO SO ANGRY. NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE MY SIDE BECAUSE "SHE'S MY MOTHER" AND "SHE MUST BE STRESSED." I come home from college on breaks and turn into a person I hate. I am a ALWAYS angry at home and NEVER angry up at school. She is SUCH A BITCH. WHY DO I HAVE FRIENDS THAT GIVE ME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THAT EVERY HUMAN NEEDS BUT SHE DOESN'T? IF SHE READ THIS SHE'D LAUGH AT IT AND BE UN-PHASED. I have literally screamed for her emotional support. I have talked to her calmly. Nothing will ever work. She will never give in and help me.
Please help me cope with this anger. I feel bad, I am a very nice person usually. I've been dealing with these anger issues my whole life but mainly with parents things. How do I deal with this bitter anger? I have been crying for hours on end. Please, please help.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
This would probably be the last thing on your mind, but have you tried to put yourself in her shoes to see if you can understand why she is the way she is?
What were her parents (your grandparents) like?
A lot of parenting comes from how the individual was raised. If she was raised to be emotionally detached then that's just what's embedded in her.
Another aspect would be how reliant she may be on your father. Most women are very dependent financially on their spouse while they stay home to raise the children. This could be why she is always on his side, or never questions his actions. She may fear a life without him as a money struggle, as a result she avoids upsetting him. Or there could be other situations in their relationship that you may be unaware of that could be causing her to constantly side with him.
It's tough to have a parent that doesn't support you. It can be emotionally and mentally damaging. What's great is that you are aware of this, you are aware that you have a better support system from your friends. I'd do my best to focus on that aspect. If you know you can't get something specific from your mom then don't force yourself to keep finding out the same answers when you know it won't change. Doesnt mean to say you can't have a relationship with your mom, but it may just mean you have to take a different approach to it.
Do what makes YOU happy. I know it's difficult, but use your other outlets as a way of coping. The other people in your life who care about you and support you were put into your life for that reason :)
xoxo feel free to email me if you wanna chat.
carayotie@gmail.com
]
More Questions: |