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Am I with him because i love him.. or?
hello,
i have been dating my bf for 10 months now and when we were first together i fell for him very fast. without really getting to know each other we kind of jumped in a relationship. However, now i feel that everything he does kind of makes me mad, i dont think i made him work hard enough for me. he doesnt bring me flowers or take me out. things seem like theyve faded, im not as attracted to him and he gets on my nerves very easily. when i go out with the girls i love the fact that i can just forget about him and go have harmless flirtation with guys. i love my bfs family and friends, they mean so much to me and i really dont want to lose them. I still love him but the spark isnt there i feel and he has a full time job so in the nights he wants to hang out but im going to school and i need to do my home work and he doesnt understand. i think i am over thinking everything so i need someone elses help ! please!!!
thanks
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Hi there,
As one of the other advice givers suggested, I agree that you have fallen out of love. As he or she mentioned, I think that you still love him as a person and do not want to hurt him or his family (possibly thinking about breaking up with him makes you feel guilty because you know he and his family would be hurt), but you are not in love with him. Nevertheless, it is important to do what is best for you because if you continue to date, you will begin to feel trapped and sacrifice both your and his happiness as the relationship continues. Eventually, as you get closer, it will be harder to do what is best for you.
You want someone who you are in love with, and although it may sound odd to hear this comment because he is currently your boyfriend, I'm sure he wants to be with someone who is fully in love with him too.
I believe that you will be happier if you take actions that are in sync with how you really feel; yes, he may be hurt, but you are not a bad person or mean for doing what's best for you, and in the end, I believe you will do what is best for both of you.
:)
Skylar
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Relationships aren't about him bringing you flowers or taking you out. You got it all wrong. Just because he doesn't love you the way you want him to,doesn't mean he doesn't love you the best way he can. Just saying. Maybe you're expecting too much from him. Yes,you are over thinking and over reacting. No relationship is ideal. You need to tone it down a notch. Romance dies out after some time. I've been dating my bf for a year and a half. He's definitely not as romantic as he was when we started dating. But he shows love in in different ways,although he seems cold sometimes. Just because it isn't the same,doesn't mean he has lost interest. And you shouldn't either. You say you love him. But the spark isn't there. It doesn't need to be. Feelings are enough. It's enough if you can just spend time with him and feel at ease. Sure,I sometimes flirt harmlessly too with other guys,but that doesn't mean I don't love my bf. It's good that you can find something else to do rather than just thinking about him all the time. The point is-everything is just fine. Calm down a little and you'll see it was all in your head. Good luck.
StarPrincess
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You fell out of love.
You still love him but you are no longer IN love with him. There is a very big difference between the two terms.
Even though you still care about him and love him, you don't feel the Ashe way you used to. If you want what's best for the both of you, you should highly consider ending it and just remaining friends. I understand how you feel, this happens a lot. You're not alone.
All of the signs are there: he annoys you easily, gets on your nerves for doing like nothing wrong, you're not physically attracted to him like you used to be, you innocently flirt with guys but its still flirting which means your boyfriend is not on your mind, you want to forget about him when you're out with friends, being with him feels like a chore, the spark is gone, etc.
you know what you have to do because its what's fair to both of you. Right now, you probably just need to experience different people and who knows what can happen in the future. But yes, this relationship, right now is toxic. And I know you don't want to lose his family, so just keep things civil, don't let it get out of hand. But put yourself in his shoes, if this was turned around, wouldn't you want him to break up with you rather than string you along and be miserable ?
Good luck ! Hope I helped, xxo.
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You moved on, The only thing different is you are just beginning to realize it.
You enjoy going out with friends because it gets him off your mind. People who are in love need space but also have their spouse on their minds from time to time. Yours is looking for a way to erase him mentally and permanently.
The problem here is you both live different lives. He works full time, You go to school. People who live different lives in the end tend to want different things in life. In my opinion the only thing toxic is too be with someone who isn't able to be with you vice versa.
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