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Starting over this semester
19/f
I am in my freshman year of college. I live in the suburbs and commute to my school, which is about 20 minutes from my home. During my first semester I had a lot of trouble making new friends. I have a few friends but it's hard to hang out with them since I am not really around much, and since I'm not there on the weekends. I feel so alone and every time I think about going back to school (I'm on break right now) I just feel a sense of dread.
I really want to be able to meet new people and start over this semester but I don't know how and I'm so anxious that it will always be this way and that I will always have no friends.
I was thinking about rushing a sorority this semester but I'm so scared that I won't fit in and that I won't connect with anyone since I don't live there.
I feel so hopeless and I need a way out. Sometimes I even want to kill myself beacuse I can't take it anymore.
Please help me.
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Not having friends in your freshman year of college does not mean it's the end of the world for you. You still have three more years to go. I just transferred schools and I had a group or a small set of friends I hung with. Now, I have no one. It is quite lonely but here and there you do meet people. You have to realize that people our age, we already have our established personalities, friends, cliques, etc so it will be a bit harder at our age making friends. I strongly believe that's why sororities exist anyway, so if you feel that you want to join one, then go ahead. You will always have the opportunity to observe on the outside how the other girls behave and act and you can see whether it is the environment for you. College is all about adjustment. But always remember the REAL reason you're in college, to get an education. That's so much more important than having friends but it is equally important to maintaining a positive atmosphere for the next semesters to come.
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Take this from someone who is socially awkward!! I used to suck a making friends so much but I have gotten much better. I know going into a situation where you don't know anyone is one if the hardest things. If rushing a sorority is what you want to do then do it because you will most likely make friends that way especially if you research and see which one fits you best. Other ways I suggest are joining clubs that interest you. Doing this assures that you already have something in common with these people and you will likely make a lot of friends right there on campus. Another way is to go out and find some student night life and hang out spots. If you see someone you recognize from classes or someone else alone that you feel comfortable going up to then do it and make some small talk. If you don't feel comfortable talking to anyone, just hang out and maybe do your homework there or read your favorite books. Someone might approach you and if they do talk to them! You have to meet people before you can make friends. You won't become friends every time but its still fun to meet someone new. Don't let your commute be an excuse for not getting out there to these places. Go after class or something and make it fit! Hope this helps! Good luck :)
-Ali
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