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i am adopted and dont know how to cope with it.
Hi :)... well ive been adopted since i was a baby and my birth mom was a druggie and i guess my dad was never in the picture but i do live with my biological half sister but she has a lot of problems herself and theres also with 7 other adopted kids in this family and i love them all a lot and am very blessed but i also know tht we have other sblings somewhere else. not only do i think about it a lot but whenever im down i always think about why i have to be where i am and why my birthmother couldnt have changed for me and it really hurts me. it would really help me to find out a lot more about my birthmom and my other siblings and maybe even meet them. but idk how to bring this up with my adoptive parents i am now 15 and i feel like i deserve to know more. i really would lve some advice bc i really dont know what to do i hae been stuck on this for awhile now...thanks :)
P.S. sorry its soo long!:)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Tell your parents and siblings that they are your REAL family but as you're becoming an adult you feel you really need to know your story to feel WHOLE and not to always wonder about who your birth parents were and what happened to the other birth-siblings in that family.
Tell your adoptive parents that you often think what their life would be like and are sad about it. Ask them because of laws if they could tell you the truth and prepare you for a meeting at 18 when you are adult and can investigate this fully. But yes, do get the details.
Fact is though, your parents may or may not know much more than they told you about them either. You also have to be prepared that your birth mother being an addict may/may not be alive and if alive may/may not feel any connection to you nor want the meeting.
Another reason you should meet with this woman or the other kids if possible is to get a sense of your DNA and medical issues the others have and find out if there are addiction and mental-health issues so you can offset all of that for yourself. I think that is reasonable to ask of your parents to do. Show them this response if you can't put it into words.
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Hi sweetie!! My name is Sierra, and I'm adopted as well, I ALSO live with my biological half sister! AND my mom was a druggie. My father died a while ago, when I was about 9 years old, I never got to meet him, but I did get to meet my biological aunt and uncle. My half sister and I were VERY close, and always took care of each other when we were young, however lately she has gone down a bad road with drugs. She has developed schizophrenia, and she is not the same person anymore. I feel like I've lost her, and my mom to drugs now. Everyone that has ever been in my life has left me. And I really understand how that can be hard. However, I do have a wonderful relationship with my adoptive mother, and I couldn't be happier in the home I was placed in (when I was 3 years old)
What I really think is important, is you need to talk to your parents about how you want to meet your family members. I have met my two older brothers when I was very young because my parents wanted me to know them. What I'm saying is it's really important to have communication with your parents about this, and let them know how important it is to you, keep in mind, you want them to know that you love them and are happy to live with them, it's just you feel like there is a big gap, because you don't know your real family.
Hope all goes well darling. xx
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