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Am I a bad person
So my boyfriends family hates me.
Why:
1. He always comes home late because of me. He is 21 and his curfew is ten p.m.
2. I didn't call 911 on time when he got assaulted. Which I dont blame them for because I should have called emmediately.
3. He blames me for his assault. He said I planned it. The day it happened we were at a house party and I felt uncomfortable because everyone was drinking, smoking,thats not my scene. So I went outside and he got mad at me because I was ruining the party. But he stayed out the re with.me and then some guys who were looking for someone to fight come out of nowhere start drama and out of nowhere someone throws a punch.
sonhis
So the family hates me and thinks I'm a bad person for their son because I failed to call 911 right when everything happened instead of doing it hours later at the hospital.
I feel like I failed him. It eats me up because they don't say anything but I feel this strong vibe. He even told me that they hate me. Idk what to do.
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I honestly think that you're boyfriend needs to be independent.He's 21,not 16!And if his family acts this way all the time and you can feel it,then maybe it's because he relays on them even more than on you. I think that neither you nor your boyfriend are bad persons. Just talk things over with him.
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You are not a bad person.
Your boyfriend might be.
If your boyfriend actually believes you PLANNED to have him beaten up, then you need to break up with him.
End of story. End of relationship.
If he believes that you planned to have him assaulted, then the relationship is OVER. There is no trust. There is no respect.
If he just pretends to believe that in order to keep you anxious and make you feel guilty, then there is also no respect and no trust and he's an abusive asshole, and the relationship is also over.
If he tells you his family hates you, but does NOTHING about it (like, ya know, making sure he's home on time, or standing up for you) then there is no affection or respect, and the relationship is over.
So - The relationship is over.
Whatever mistakes you might have made don't matter in the face of his behavoir. Sure - you should have called 911, but that one error in judgement doesn't mean you deserve the shit he is heaping on you.
In fear and confusion you made an error - He's being an asshole on purpose.
End it. You will go on and be better with someone else. Hopefully, someday he'll stop being such an ass to the girl he's dating.
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Your boyfriend is being a jerk. Part of being with someone is standing by them, and he's not doing it for you.
I'm going to go through this point by point:
1) He's always late for his curfew because of you.
No. No he's not. He's late because he's late. You're not forcing him at gunpoint to stay out late. He's an adult making the choice to stay out later than house rules allow. You are not responsible, even if he is late because he's spending time with you. He has to man up and take responsibility. If you really want to shake things up, cut your dates short at 9:30. Make it so that he can't blame you at all.
2) You didn't call 911.
You panicked. Guess what? We all do. Don't kick yourself over it. Nobody ever sits you down early in life and makes you practice calling 911 in case someone jumps your boyfriend. We all make mistakes, especially if we're scared out of our minds. He and his family are wrong to blame you for this.
3) You're to blame for the assault.
If you're ruining the party by not being comfortable with drinking and smoking, then he needs to grow the hell up and learn how to deal with it. You have a right to feel comfortable and safe, and a guy whose first priority is "PARTY ON!" is not looking out for your best interests.
I'm not saying to ditch him. I'm just saying that he needs a serious attitude adjustment. This is the sort of crap I'd expect from a 16 year old kid, not an adult. You deserve to feel happy, safe and loved, and he's just not giving that to you right now. Don't feel like you're the problem. The changes have to come from him. It's up to him to man up and start acting like a grown-ass man, and it's up to him to tell his family that he's sticking by you. Your job is to keep being the wonderful, kind, thoughtful girlfriend that I'm sure you already are. Don't give the in-laws grounds to hate you, and the blame falls entirely on them.
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