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Is this a real friendship worth worrying about?
My wife has a good female friend at work who claims she is my friend as well. However, nearly everytime she comes around me with other people around, she speaks to everyone around except for me. About once every month or two, she will actually talk to me regularly like we are really good friends, but then it stops again. She is a very outgoing person and I am kind of quiet. I have gone out of my way to start conversations with her and let her know that I really like her as a friend and would like to talk more often. The weird thing is when she starts ignoring me, she asks my wife why I am mad at her and not speaking to her. She went 2 months this summer without speaking and then bought me a $200 watch for my birthday, spoke to me for about a week, and then stopped again. All my wife says is that I need talk to her more so she won't think I'm mad at her. I'm not sure what to do. Any ideas?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Wake up sir. It is clear that this woman wants something more from you than what you're willing to give, but you aren't seeing the signs. A $200 watch for your birthday? She obviously has feelings for you she's having difficulty dealing with. When you don't flirt with her or show any romantic interest in her, she distances herself from you hoping it might make a difference. It surprises me that your wife hasn't questioned her behavior. If a woman, (close friend or not) gave my husband a $200 gift when a $5 card would have sufficed, I would certainly be asking questions. If you love your wife and this other woman chooses to distance herself, accept it as her way of dealing with feelings she knows she shouldn't act on nor will you reciprocate.
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Well frankly it sounds like this lady has problems not you. If you are really concerned about this relationship than I suggest straight up talking to her. Ask her what the deal is, why is she doing these things? I don't think your doing anything wrong here but if you want to try and start more conversations with her it might help. And try telling your wife what is happening, what the lady is doing.
I hope it works out.
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