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Still in adoration for a boy I've never approached. Cliche, I know ...
I am a female, 13 going on fourteen. It's been about a year since i've seen this kid. He was the only reason I'd look forward to gym. But ... He was a special ed kid, still is. He never talked, hardly said a word to anyone. You'd think he was a fifth grader (then I was in seventh grade) but he was too in seventh grade, and we were the same age. He was small, inaudible, socially awkward, child-like, innocent. I was very attracted to him and because of that, it made me feel like bursting into tears. I know, I know, in a sentimental mood... But I felt like I loved him and now that I left that school (currently homeschooling) I miss him so much and i cant get him off my mind. I utterly regret never speaking to him because, yes what a big surprise, I was really nervous. And yes I'll admit it to the world, I really adore this special kid, and I'm very afraid I will never see him again. I am stuck. What should i do? Thanks.
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Your infatuation with this boy is so adorable! I'm sort of confused as to how you like this boy though? Is it just a friend way or is it a boyfriend way or sexual?
Nonetheless, I would say you need to go back to the gym where you have seen him and next time he is there check if he is with anyone. Is his mom with him? Is he with a friend? If you don't think he can talk than go up to whoever is with him and introduce yourself and tell them you would like to be his friend. Going up to him and saying this will not help since he can't talk.
I hope this works well for you!
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First, I'd like to compliment you on how articulate this question is. It's rare on this site.
Unfortunately, my advice is to accept that you won't be with this kid in a relationship setting. While the future is undetermined, it would still be in your best interest to try or continue to try to get over him. Try to stop dwelling on regret and put forth effort to look forward. Your only other option is to go on a mission to contact him, but I fear that'll only end in disappointment.
It'll certainly suck for awhile, but I'm guessing you'll slowly think of him less and less and eventually get over him. I suggest trying to occupy your mind with other things, keep busy for awhile, develop some new hobbies, art, music, writing, etc. I know it won't drive him out of your head, but it should at least help distract you.
I'm not sure if this'll help you get over him or not and for all I know it'll offend, but since you never spoke with him I would guess that you loved the thought of him, not him. You can only see so much on the surface, so you can't really know someone you never talked to. So you aren't troubled with thoughts of him, you're troubled with your own imagined thoughts of what he might be.
And perhaps the fact that he's in special education makes you feel a bit troubled by your adoration of him? I'm not assuming, but I feel it would be understandable to feel this way and you make an appoint to mention his special needs, so it's a possibility. If you are a bit unsettled, it might make getting over the adoration harder. I just want to reassure you that there's nothing wrong with being drawn to someone of special needs. We don't choose who we're drawn to. The best we can do is let them fade away when we can't be with them.
It'll get better with time.
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Well do you have any friends that still go to that school that you talk to? Maybe they could put in a good word for you. It's always nice to have a friend check out the situation and to see whats going on. If not maybe you could stop by the school sometime and if you see him say hi or something. I believe that everything happens for a reason and if you are meant to be with him you will be and if you're not you are meant to be with someone else.
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