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In "like" with best friend's brother
15 female
So I became best friends with my one friend, Katie, this year and we became as close as sisters. But she has a little brother, John, who is only a year younger but I think he's really cute and I kinda like him... The other day he messaged me on twitter and we talked and he gave me his number and stuff. I have talked to him in person a couple times but now we text all the time and we're kinda "talking". We decided to keep this a secret and I have not told anyone yet but I don't know if I should go for it or not because Katie's other friend became more than friends with John and Katie got mad. What do you think I should do?
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I agree with Xenolen. Katie can't tell you who to date and who to not date. If I were you, i'd tell her that I like him. If she gets mad, ask her why she's mad. If she's mad at you, she'll get over it eventually. She can't stay mad forever.
Like Xenolen said, don't have a relationship with John behind Katie's back. That would be wrong. Plus, she'll eventually find out and won't ever be friends with you D:
So, to the conclusion: Tell Katie you like John.
Good luck,
Bella xoxo
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Tell her that her brother has shown some interest in you and you have been chatting back and forth but that's it. Let her know you understand what happened with a friend of hers that liked him before.
Tell her your close friendship means more than anything with her brother and that the whole thing is making you very, very uneasy and that you want either her consent to proceed or for her to tell her brother that you don't want this to continue because the friendship means more.
If you did get involved even if she said it was alright if that relationship ended badly she would be gone too. You have to think about that. And above all--don't do the thing that will instantly KILL your friendship--don't have any secrets about anything related to her brother so end that.
Honestly, if you two are like sisters and can discuss any topic no matter whether it was embarrassing or not you should be able to talk to her about this rattling off all the reasons you don't want to act without asking and that it makes you feel uneasy or icky as losing her isn't an option.
It may be best in this case to even tell the guy that it's fine to be friends but when it comes to his sister and dating her sibling you just don't want to go there with him. A friendship that's out in the open and handling it yourself by telling him despite what he/you may feel her feelings come first will help the situation.
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Katie doesn't get a say in who else you choose to have a relationship with, of course. You can be friends with who you want, and talk with who you want, and that includes her brother. But she DOES get a say in whether SHE will be friends with you anymore. If she decides that you-having-a-relationship-with-her-brother is a dealbreaker, then she can end your friendship over it if she so chooses. You must therefore decide if talking with John is worth the risk of losing the friendship with Katie.
What you should NOT do is maintain a secret relationship with John. Friends have to be honest with each other. If Katie is your Best Friend, then you should not keep this kind of secret from her. So, you have a choice: either tell her that you're "talking" with her brother, or stop doing it so there's nothing to tell.
Katie has shown in the past that she's not comfortable with her close friends pursuing relationships with her brother. Maybe she'll get over that with time, but for now, it seems that you will have to choose which relationship is more important to you. I would advise that unless your feelings for John are very strong (which they don't seem to be), you give your friendship with Katie the higher priority, and stop texting him behind her back. There are lots of guys out there who are not her brother; Best Friends are a lot harder to come by.
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