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Advice on kids
I have been married for about 2 months. Me and my husband have talked about having kids, but I'm not sure when the right time to have them is. Help?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
The right time to have children is NEVER, ever ever. You've only been married for 2 months and already youre talking about kids? Are you insane? The honeymoon isnt even over, and there are far more important things you should be doing in this part of your marriage.
Right now you should be thinking of nothing more than pleasing your husband. Other than giving it up to him at least 5 times per day, there is much more you need to be doing in order to make sure he is a happy man.
When your hubby gets home from a hard day of manly work, make sure you have an ice cold beer, or two, or three, waiting for him on a silver serving tray. Then tell him to park it in front of the television and give him a nice shoulder and neck massage while he enjoys his first brew of the evening.
Over the weekend you could invite his friends over to watch "the game". Make sure to have all of his favorite foods: fried cheese curds, jalapeno poppers, pizza, chili, those little pickle ham and cream cheese thingys, and of course lots and lots of cold beer. You could add a nice touch by serving them in a French maid outfit or something slinky. Yes, your right, I'm daydreaming again, so what.
Now you ask what the hell does this have to do with having children? I know you are ready to strike when the iron is still hot and start popping out little pukers, but it is way too early in your marriage to be doing that. You need to make your husband think he has hit the wife jackpot first. This is something that can take considerable time, but the payoff will be worth it.
Do you have to tramp around the house in slinky little silk teddys, serving ice cold beer and laughing at all of his stupid jokes? Absolutely a must. You obviously have never had a discussion with one of your lady friends or mother about how to hook your man for good, otherwise you wouldn't be thinking about having children 2 months into your marriage.
The above behavior is a definite must for at the very least a full year. Then it will be the right time to sink the hook and yank him into your boat for keeps, and thats when you tell him your pregnant. At that point you can tell him hands off, get your own damn beer, and no your idiot friends cannot come over. You can also tell him to cook his own damn dinner from now on because he is the bastard that did this to you and he isnt gonna get anything from you ever again. My advice to your husband, get it while you can brother.
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I would suggest to wait a year or so to build your relationship and have time to yourselves before having children because they are a full time job
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The right time to have kids usually is when you are going to be ready to dedicate time to your child. If you are really busy working...and things like that..how are you going to have time for your child. Talk again with your husband...and ask him that question. See what conclusion you come to...and if you both agree that it's time, and your both physically and mentally ready...then...I mean your married...so now is the perfect time.
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To a certain degree I agree with Trauma. The factors pointed out are important and need to be taken into consideration before bringing a child into this world.
Some of these factors, such as financial security, are floating factors in that they are forever changing. The overriding factor is the relationship between husband and wife. A child should not be conceived so as to repair a broken marriage. Bringing a child into this world rarely repairs a relationship.
If you have a loving solid relationship and the other factors mentioned are manageable. Then if you are both ready to raise a child, I would say the time is right. If you wait for exactly the right time to come along, that may never happen.
It really boils down to when you and your husband are solid enough in your marriage to raise a child or children. While children are a great delight they also bring a lot of stress into a marriage. Therefore it is important that your marriage be stable before you bring a child into this world.
Below is the URL to an article you and your husband may want to read while deciding when the time is right. I found the article very interesting and very much on point as to some of the things you may want to discuss and be aware of.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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The right time to have children is different for everyone. You need to evaluate the factors in your life that will have any impact on your decision. Do you have a steady source of income? Do you make enough to care for yourself and a child? Do you have a stable home environment? Is your relationship ready for this next step? It's up to you and your husband to decide when the right time is for you both.
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