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Everybody thinks he likes me but I'm not sure.
Hey, female, 18. Just moved into University about 4 days ago. There is a guy from my high school going here, in high school I thought he was so cute and we talked and all but I didn't think there was anything there especially because I was a nerd in the marching band and he was a star on the football team. Well, freshmen year, he was put in the same class as a close friend of mine and they had a nice little chat. She said he was happy that they chatted because she thought he was the biggest douschebag. So, we were texting and I told him that and that she's happy they chatted and he isn't a douschebag. He texted me back and said 'what the hell, i'm not a douschebag!' So, I just told him that he comes off as a little bit of one and he just replied back with "oh..." so I told him I didn't mean to offend him. We argued for a good 15 minutes eventually me getting to "well, most jocks are douschebags so it's okay, haha" just joking around and he said "I'm not the typical jock, (my name)" Like, he was trying so hard to prove to me (when I wasn't even the initial subject to our conversation even starting) that he wasn't a douschebag. He stopped texting me back after I told him that I never said he was mean, I just said he comes off as a little douscher. Now I don't know if he's mad, if I bruised his ego haha or if he does have feelings for me because he tried proving to me that he was a nice kid. I just don't know what to think about anything or even to what to say to him now. Help?
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Um, ok.
You know, you're kind of a jerk. Your friend told you something and you immediately told the person it was most likely to hurt. Then when he was offended by it, you boxed him into a category that probably doesn't completely fit him AND that he may resent(which you may have known had you taken the time to get to know him) and now you're upset because he stopped texting you when you did that? You need to grow the heck up, apologize TO HIS FACE, apologize to your friend for repeating what she says regardless of content, and then you can worry about him liking you. Honestly, though, he probably just wanted to be friends and then started acting like you were still in high school. I've said it once and I'll say it again. GROW UP.
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Even if he likes you, you deserved to not get a reply. you obviously have some sort of friendship and he probably felt judged. You let him fall into a category.. "jock" and assumed he was like everyone else. and than did actually insult him. try apologizing. but if he liked you.. hope you didn't like him back because some people are turned off by judgmental attitudes.
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Apologize.
You were rude. It's true that people make assumptions about athletes and popular people - but you should have ended it there.
You should have apologized up front for thinking he was a 'typical jock' and thanked him for remind you how wrong those sorts of stereotypes can be. Telling someone they "off as a little douscher" is mean. It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to offend him, it IS offensive to call someone that.
There are lots of nicer, more respectful ways to let a person know if a way they behave put other people off. Or to let them know they people make assumptions about them. The way you did it wasn't nice, so you should apologize to him.
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