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Wife's past sex partners
I have started to wonder if my wife has totally moved on from her sex partners just before we were married.
She had at least two partners, both men were best friends and they shared everything including her, and at times both at the same time.
OK... I would have done that too.
What bothers me is, since we are from a small town, and everyone of our friends know everything. So when we get together she always asks my closest friend "how is Wayne". Wayne is one of the men and he is the cousin of my best friend. One in awhile this would be OK, but not every time.
Now it has escalated to stalking Wayne's wife, on Facebook, who we met once twenty years ago, really not much in common, she is talking to her friends about this woman as though they are friends.
Is she just trying to re live her earlier sex-capades?
Or would she like to replace the wife?
Please tell me what you think
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The first thing that comes to my mind is the old saying; "YOU ALWAYS REMEBER YOUR FIRST..."
Your first sex partner always seems to be at the top of that list especially for a women. The boy/man who she gives her virginity too always seems to be special in her mind. Being from a small town where there are constant reminders of this event may be behind your wife's inquires of Wayne.
None of us are doctors so it would be really hard, impossible actually for any of us to give you a professional diagnoses to what is behind your wife's thoughts.
I would think if you have been together for twenty years as it appears you two have been or longer; why are you wondering about this now or is this something new. Not just the facebook stalking that is.
I am getting the feeling it is not something new and it just may be that she has a soft spot in her heart for Wayne. Not a big deal as you are the one she sleeps with. What she may not be aware of is your feelings since you have not mentioned this to her. She may assume/feel that you have no problem with her asking about Wayne or in your terms, stalking his wife.
I would think that given the fact that you two have spent the better part of your lives together you could ask her, not confront her, the why or what of this situation with her interest in Wayne. Once you know her reason then you can tell her how you feel and then ask or discuss her stopping her inquires.
This would be my suggestion based on what you have written.
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I think she sounds bored.
Look - diagnosing and psychoanalyzing your partner is rude and destructive, especially when you start to think of rather negative assumptions like "does she want to replace this guys wife."
You might be right! But she's your wife, so she deserves more default respect than that AND she deserves a chance to actually address what you are being bothered by without you assuming you know what her motivations are.
Talk to her. It's been 20 years. Maybe she is mourning her wild youthful sex life. Or maybe her own life doesn't give her enough drama to keep her interested.
Don't assume, and don't try to analyze her behavoir. Be honest about what you are seeing, and ask her what she is thinking.
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