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Sharing with family
Hello all,
I have a question about how I feel about sharing certain things and how my parents approach it.
I was recently on a ten day vacation with my parents and my brother. We were all sharing one big hotel room, which is fine. However, my problem is that there are certain things I prefer not to share; such as my roll-on deodorant, my razor and also any of my lip products.
During this vacation, as we had a shared bathroom - my parents helped themselves to my razor; which I just hate and it really grosses me out. Without asking. When I mentioned it to them they just say "Don't be so fussy, we're family" and so on, but I really, really can't stand something like this. Nevertheless, they continued to use it; well, more my mom- especially for her bikini region as we were on a poolside holiday. Ugh.
Then they would just help themselves to my roll on deodorant which is also something that grosses me out. They just thought they wouldn't bring their own deodorant to save space and help themselves to mine all they want.
Thirdly, my mom just helped herself to all my lip products because she "forgot" hers...
No matter how much I told her I don't like it if others use my lip products, she still used them multiple times each day. And even ruined one of my lipsticks...which I had just bought from the airport on our way to the vacation itself..
Am I being irrational here? Or is it perfectly acceptable that there are a few things that I shouldn't have to share with my family when they feel like things that should only be tied to my own body, and that's it?
How can I explain my opinion on this to my parents? I've tried countless times, but each time they (without saying it) imply that I'm just being greedy and bitchy and fussing about nothing. This happens almost every vacation and I am so tired of this happening...
By the way, I am 19 and female.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
No you are not being irrational. The quickest way to pass on any illnesses is through the use of personal hygiene products. You may all be family and share all the same genes and DNA as well as much of the same good bacteria. What you don't share are the same immunities. So no you are not being irrational at all.
Unfortunately your family, mom, does not share your views. She sees nothing wrong with this and you can talk to her until you are blue in the face. She is not going to change, you have to. That does not mean you have to be accepting of her views on this.
What it means is when traveling together as a family and sharing the same bathroom you have to be the one to make sure mom packs her proper toiletries. You should have what men call a shave kit, a little pouch where they keep their razor, shave cream and such. Much like a make up kit you would carry only larger to accommodate the other things you would need in the bathroom.
You take the kit into the bathroom with you. When you are finished you take it out of the bathroom and lock it in your suitcase. Mom will probably object and may even tease or ridicule you some.
You are at 19 an adult entitled to your privacy and that includes not sharing things that you feel should not be shared. In this case I am suggesting what is in essence a good offence as a defence by making sure your things are secured when you are not their to protect them.
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The only thing you can really do is speak to them. If after that, they don't listen, then it's officially not being irrational anymore.
It's perfectly normal to feel this way, especially as razors and deo' are used in personal areas, that can often carry bacteria.
My advice? Keep a little washbag thing. Put everything in there once you're done, and then put that away. If you leave your stuff out, they're going to use it. And when packing for a holiday, remind everyone (casually) to bring their own things, e.g. "Mom, did you pack razors?" or something will do the job.
Hope I helped :)
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