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Best friend turned husband has become so clingy that it's exhausting.
Hi, I'm a 27 years old woman from India.
I have been married for almost 2 years now and I love my husband very much. Before our marriage, we used to be the best of friends since 5 or 6 years and back then were pretty open to dating or being in relationships with different people. Our families knew about our friendship quite well (no relationship, that happened right before our marriage) and weren't apprehensive about it in any way. But time passed and being in a conservative Indian society, we had to settle down as per our families' wishes individually. Neither of us was okay with the idea of "arranged marriage" (it's like getting married to a complete stranger, for me). So, since we were in the right age, had proper jobs and shared same religions as well, we decided that we should rather get married. And that's how we fell in a relationship and got married within 4 months of it.
The real problem starts now. We only got intimate after we got married. My first few months with him were just magical. We fell head over heels in love with each other. It was all just like it is in a movie! But the catch was that we used to have too much of sex.. All through the night till sleep could come over us and in between the time after waking up and before leaving for work. And sundays or dayoffs were spent together in movies/lunches or entirely in the bedroom. But after about an year of this wild intimacy, I started feeling exhausted. He still wants me to spend all of my time excluding my office hours with him. Be it intimately or socially. I had to cut off many of my social contacts and gatherings for him. He gets restless if by any chance I get late in returning back home and gets really mad at me when I refuse to make love to him. It's really hard to get him back in his normal temperament. I have to let him have his way in the end. It's not that my love has reduced for him or anything, it's just that I'm really tired and energy-drained after all day's work. I even feel that my health has deteriorated in the past few months. And then there are my parents and in-laws, they want us to have a baby now as it's already high time we had one. How would I carry a baby in me when I am not able to carry my own self?
Moreover, why has my husband started behaving this way? He wasn't like this when we were friends. I though things would hardly be different once we got married. What can I do to root out his insecurities? I need to mellow him down real bad, though without hurting him in any way. I love him too much to leave him or anything of that sort, so that's not the solution. I want to be with him and even have kids with him. It's just that, for now, I want to re-energize my body and cleanse my mind. But how to do that, I have no idea.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I think what you need is a well deserved rest. Maybe a month away from him? But before you do anything, let him know how you feel. Tell him that you need some time, a breather as some people say. Be open with him, if he wants so much intimacy it's probably either to satisfy himself or because he wants to satisfy you. Either way, let him know your feelings and if nothing changes, take a break. Best of luck! {:
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