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How can I come clean to my girlfriend? Overwhelmed with guilt.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and she's been the best thing that ever happened to me. She came to me when I was heart broken and confused from my last relationship, and she nursed me back to health. Though, me being the idiot that I am, I didn't appreciate what she did for me at that time, and I went and cheated on her. I've already went through the guilt stages where I've beaten myself up behind the guilt and completely wore myself out mentally. I know I already don't deserve her and should come clean. The thing is, I love her so much now, and really just want whats best for her, even if the best isn't me. I just want to know a good way to come clean and how to bring it up to her.
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okay, that might sound weird but show her this page i mean what you wrote and tell her that you tried to find the best way to do that and tell her that you are afraid and dont forget to tell her how you feel coz in the end honesty is the policy in any relationship right?
hope it helps!
NW:)
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No matter how you chose to, it's going to hurt either way.
She will be mad, she will be hurt, she may even leave you-but thats risk and consequences you must take with doing something like this.
If my boyfriend cheated on me, and he kept it from me for a while and acted like nothing happened and we cuddled, kissed, had sex, ect
I would feel more betrayed, than him telling me a couple of days AFTER it happened.
Honesty and faithfulness are the two keys in a healthy relationship, and I know you are aware of this, or you wouldn't be torn up.
Everyone makes mistakes, did you know that on average, EVERYONE CHEATS ATLEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIFE TIME?
There is NO good way to bring it up, blunt, sincere, and non sugar coated-is your best bet.
A year and a half is a long time with someone-
I'm assuming you cheated on her a while back? Not recently? Correct?
Maybe explain that than, you didn't know what you had then, and you didn't feel as strongly for her when you cheated, and now you are completely, out of your mind, in love with her. Let her know that if you felt the way you do now with her, before you cheated, you wouldn't have cheated.
Let her know how sorry you are, if you happen to feel like crying, cry. Crying isn't a sign of weakness, its a sign of strength, recognition, and sorrow. Tell her how guilty you have felt, tell her how scared you are of losing her, but you know she's going to do what she wants.
Let her know that you will do whatever it takes to gain back trust, and prove to her that it'll never happen again.
You have to find those words to say though. I cannot give you them.
But do NOT make promises if you do not intend to keep it, okay?
I wish you guys the best,
let her know that this is a bump in a road, and you believe you guys are strong enough to get over it TOGETHER.
She may need some space, and some time,
and if she says she needs some space but doesn't wanna break up, give it to her.
But everyday, send her just one text message- letting her know that you are thinking of her, and you miss her.
Leave it short, simple and sweet.
<3
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Firstly, good for you for realizing that you should come clean to your girlfriend about your, shall we say "temporary lapse in judgment?" You are doing the right thing by telling her the truth; she deserves to know.
Okay, so you want to know a good way to go about this. You should bring her somewhere that is neutral ground for both of you. Don't bring her somewhere that is special for both of you, though, because she will start to associate your confession with that place. Maybe go down to a park or something, take her hand and gently tell her you need to talk to her about something. Tell her that you want to be completely honest with her and that you only want the best for her... Just like you said in this question. Then, I would just get on with it and tell her.
Remember, finding out that your girl/boyfriend has cheated on you is a very heartbreaking thing. Don't be surprised if she walks away from you. Tell her that you really love her and that you made a gigantic mistake; in other words, really speak from the heart. If you're not good with being put on the spot, try writing out some things you may want to say before you confront her. If she storms off, don't chase her. Give her some space and time to digest what she's just been told. If you constantly hound her about how sorry you are, it will only irritate her. I'm not saying to let her go forever, don't get me wrong. Just let her know how sorry you are, that you want the best for her, and just speak from the heart. That's the best you can do.
I commend your decision to tell her yourself. It also improves your chances of being forgiven, as opposed to if she found out through a friend or something. You sound like you do love her and regret your "lapse in judgment." We all make mistakes. I hope that I helped in some way, and I wish you all the luck in the world when you confront her about this.
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