about

hellooo. :)
i used to be a member of this site agesss ago, but when i decided to come back i couldn`t remember my username or anythingg.

for a little while this column isn`t gonna be too impressive. i`ll get it better, trustt mee.

anywayy, obviously i love giving advice, but i also like to read and write in my spare time. i have four fiction novels in progress that i hope to publish someday, and i also write fanfiction.

i am a survivor of domestic violence; i had a terrifying abusive relationship. it taught me to never rely on other people, and to always stay strong and keep a clear head.

so that`s pretty much me in a nutshell. :) if i think of anything else, i`ll add it. this will change soon most likely, though, since i can never stick with the same thing for long lol.

thanks for reading my column! :)

advice

My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and she's been the best thing that ever happened to me. She came to me when I was heart broken and confused from my last relationship, and she nursed me back to health. Though, me being the idiot that I am, I didn't appreciate what she did for me at that time, and I went and cheated on her. I've already went through the guilt stages where I've beaten myself up behind the guilt and completely wore myself out mentally. I know I already don't deserve her and should come clean. The thing is, I love her so much now, and really just want whats best for her, even if the best isn't me. I just want to know a good way to come clean and how to bring it up to her.

Firstly, good for you for realizing that you should come clean to your girlfriend about your, shall we say "temporary lapse in judgment?" You are doing the right thing by telling her the truth; she deserves to know.

Okay, so you want to know a good way to go about this. You should bring her somewhere that is neutral ground for both of you. Don't bring her somewhere that is special for both of you, though, because she will start to associate your confession with that place. Maybe go down to a park or something, take her hand and gently tell her you need to talk to her about something. Tell her that you want to be completely honest with her and that you only want the best for her... Just like you said in this question. Then, I would just get on with it and tell her.

Remember, finding out that your girl/boyfriend has cheated on you is a very heartbreaking thing. Don't be surprised if she walks away from you. Tell her that you really love her and that you made a gigantic mistake; in other words, really speak from the heart. If you're not good with being put on the spot, try writing out some things you may want to say before you confront her. If she storms off, don't chase her. Give her some space and time to digest what she's just been told. If you constantly hound her about how sorry you are, it will only irritate her. I'm not saying to let her go forever, don't get me wrong. Just let her know how sorry you are, that you want the best for her, and just speak from the heart. That's the best you can do.

I commend your decision to tell her yourself. It also improves your chances of being forgiven, as opposed to if she found out through a friend or something. You sound like you do love her and regret your "lapse in judgment." We all make mistakes. I hope that I helped in some way, and I wish you all the luck in the world when you confront her about this.

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ok so my friend is 12 (im 13 we're like 3 months apart) and today she was going on about how this boy, lets call him O and her D, wants to have sex with her. you know what? here's the REAL conversation.
D:omg O wants to have sex with me!!
me: but eww you guys r too young and noones gonna sell condoms to you guys!
D: O has pulls, duh.
me: no D its a really bad idea youll be known as a slut.
D: WHO CARES ive liked him for 5 yrs.
me: so? you arent even dating him!!!!
D:what ever you dont get it.
me: yeah i do.
D: at least ive had a one night stand.

i havent replied to her yet but i dont want her to screw up :( i want to email it to her parents soo bad but i dont know what to do. and i really want to reply, THATS NOT A GOOD THING. i think you are screwing up your life and i swear ,D if you do have sex i think ill just breakdown because i just cant deal with the fact that one of my friendds has had sex 1. because your gonna screw up your reputaion and your gonna get in trouble for sure.
2.i cant let you.

Good for you for looking out for your friend! It sounds like you really care about her and don't want her to do something she may regret. 12 years old is very young to be having sex; very few people are ready at that age. You are right to be concerned.

She doesn't seem to want to listen to you, so it sounds like a good idea to confront her parents. The thing about that, though, is that she may get angry with you for telling her parents. She may think you betrayed her. Sometimes people become defensive instead of realizing that you only want the best for them, and this is in her best interest. Just warning you so that you're prepared for it.

There are a lot of things that can happen from sex, and if she's blowing off condoms she definitely is not mature enough to be having sex. She doesn't seem to care about what can happen from sex (pregnancy, STDs, reputation damage, etc.) and that is a dangerous thing.

I hope that whatever decision you make works out for both you and your friend. You are a great friend for caring about her and for watching out for her. Good luck!

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I was thinking that my ex-wife was such a b**** that at 3 am I would stand on her front lawn screaming the Christmas song must be santa in the middle of July what do you think

As amusing as it may be, it's not such a good idea. First of all, if she doesn't call the cops on you, the neighbors probably will. People do NOT like being woken up in the middle of the night! Secondly, if you show up at her house, no matter what you say or sing, she will know/think that you're still not over her. You're better off just moving on and not harping on what a bitch she is, because she's just getting satisfaction out of knowing she's still on your mind. Good luck, though!

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