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Help! I'm uncomfortable with my.boyfriend taking to other girls.
I'm uncomfortable with my.boyfriend taking to other girls. What should I talk to him about to let.him know I don't want to be controlling , but I would rather he didnt talk to other girls that he use to talk to?
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Tell him how you feel... But you can't completely make him stop talking to other girls. Relationships are built on trust. Imagine if this was the other way around.... He didn't want you to talk to any guy ever again. You wouldn't be happy... Now would you?
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Razhie is on the right track. Any good relationship is based on trust. The only person you can every really control is yourself. Controlling others rarely produces a good, healthy relationship.
Don't be afraid to let your boyfriend know how his talking to other girls makes you feel. Your feelings are legitimate, but your insecurities are not healthy for the relationship.
After you've talked to your boyfriend, see how he reacts. If he cares for you, he will be willing to talk it out with you. Perhaps he can share what he talks to h other girls about. If he's not willing to talk and affirm you, the relationship is probably shallow, immature, exploitative or all of the above. If that's the case, it's time for you to start talking with some other boys.
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Well, let's put it this way! Telling your boyfriend to not talk to other girls is like your boyfriend telling you not to talk to guys. It doesn't take rocket science to figure that out! Here maybe this would help:
Let's just say you are a guy named Johnathon. You and your girlfriend, Macy, have been dating for 3 months and your relationship continues to grow strong. You love your girlfriend till all the mountains come tumbling down. And she feels the same way for you. You catch her one day talking to this guy she met at work. You get this uncomfortable feeling in your stomach and you want to just go over to the guy and threaten him to stay away from you and your girlfriend! What do you tthink? If you did just show that action and actually threaten him, how would your girlfriend feel? Think about it!
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Asking your boyfriend not to speak to female friends IS controlling. It just is.
It's okay to be a bit uncomfortable - that's part of learning how to be in a relationship. But fundamentally, you have to trust your boyfriend to be loyal and respectful to you and his female friends.
If he flirts or misbehaves, call him on THAT. But don't jump the gun and get worried right away. He deserves the benefit of the doubt. He's also learning and you should be able to talk to him about boundaries, but those boundaries don't get to be "stop talking to girls".
Cheaters will cheat - whether you know they have conversations with other girls or not.
A guy who won't cheat, won't - no matter how many female friends they have.
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