|
He was cheating........:(
Well, I have a previous post about this same issue wondering if he was, It turned out he was cheating ;( He said that he only did it cause I argued with him everytime I saw him in the past few months...this is very true. I did do that A LOT. But most of our arguments stemmed from him not introducing me to his friends--I felt, even though he spent money on me and took me on dates, that he excluded me from his life--that I didn't feel like a part of it...that's where most of my upset stemmed from. I'm not perfect. There were times when I acted a little bipolar and wouldn't just get upset too often. But he said the cheating is "my fault" now I feel like it is:( I feel like if I didn't push him so much he wouldn't have done it....he said "when we fight it feels like I'm not with you." He said one girl, the one he cheated on me with, was a friend and the other was a girl at a bar he got when we broke up but I was always the girlfriend--he said he felt nothing for them and that he just mindlessly did it. That was his explanation for cheating.....I told him I never cheated on him....I even showed him texts of a guy I kissed when we were broken up who I said "You know I got back together with my bf right?" to prove how dedicated I was to him--that I was telling other guys to back off--that I love my bf. He just focused on the part that I kissed the guy when we were broken up...even tho he had sex once when we were broken up and supposedly had sex once recently with other girls during our relationship......I just feel like a fool...I pushed him away arguing so much....I just was so adamant about not playing games they tell you to in dating books like ignoring the phone and being distant if he upset, and instead I would always complain and tell him about problems--hoping that being authentic would work someday with some guy--even tho it hasn't yet, and once again, it got me nowhere. He said I didn't need to pester him--he would have immersed me in his personal life eventually and that he had to do it when he was ready--that because I was his first relationship in three years--he was just slower to incorporate me into friends and family, and that's why I didn't meet them, but I was going to eventually. He dumped me today, after I found out last night....the fool I am was going to stay with him because I thought if the cheating were for fights we could get along and prevent it...but if the cheating was purely physical reasons (which it wasn't) there would be nothing I could do. That was my rational. He said he thinks I am his soulmate and dreams of us marrying and living together, but at this time we can't be together and he needs to "explore other options" because he's drained....he says after our break up, anyone else it would be all physical and he loves me:(:(:( I feel just awful....I feel very much that I had a hand in this undoing....and I feel guilt and extreme sadness.......I don't want to date. I don't want anything physical with anyone else.....I just want to work, do my hobbies, and I hope eventually he'll come around. I feel like we can fix this--if the cheating was just due to emotional distance--and not a need for variety...I can fix it. Am I wrong for thinking that? Am I foolish? Stupid? What is wrong with me? Should I even bother hoping we'd be back again once more? Now I feel like, now that being honest about how i feel, and not playing games, and being a nice girlfriend who cooks and cleans and just wants a guy to introduce her to friends after maybe four months and expresses that never works...because I have showed the same behavior with all past bfs and they always in some way take advantage and run away.....or lose interest....even when they swear up and down that they love my honest and authenticity and my refusal to ignore, be distant, and play games.....I just feel like I need to be fake and play games if I am ever to find someone who loves me more than I love them for once... because it's always me loving more...me getting hurt....
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Dump him. He is the problem, but he won't ever change.
]
Okay well there is no excuse for cheating. It's just plain wrong and worse than arguing. If he was so upset with the arguing, then he should have broke up with you before he went with some other girl.
You were faithful to him, you don't deserve a guy who won't do the same for you.
What you need to work on is the arguing. Couples shouldn't argue. Even though it happens a lot, it's pretty much pointless and tears down the relationship. If you talk out the problems, that's different. Give them space and then talk to them when you're cooled down.
One thing is that he said that he think your his soulmate and dreams of marrying you but then wants to explore other options. You don't want a guy to treat you like an option. If he really loved you in that way, you would not be an option.
Playing games just sucks and hurts people because feelings aren't real. When you find someone, be real. You'll eventually find a guy who will love you just as much as you love him.
I always played games with guys and I never truly loved them. I just liked the attention. Now everything is better and I'm happy and in love.
Be real and don't argue.
Forget about this guy. Cut him from your life. You might care for him a lot and love him but no one deserves this.
Work on yourself and find someone better.
]
Dump him
Blaming you for cheating is the worst excuse in the book. There is NO excuse for cheating, Doesn't matter how much you fought.
Point is, If he wasn't happy he should of showed you the respect and just ended it. Cheating is cowardly and dishonest.
He knows he is wrong and fails to take the blame for it which is why he turn it around and made it look like you were the reason for his actions. I find it somewhat bullshit that he just mindlessly went ahead and cheated as well. Why? He was well aware of what he was doing but decided to do it anyway. I do not think you are foolish but I do think you should dump him for good and move on. Someone who cheats and puts the blame on someone else is probably someone that you shouldn't be in a relationship with.
]
More Questions: |