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Should i get married?
I'm a single dad with custody of two kids 8 and 9. I met a woman over the internet, let's call her Carol, and I love her very much. She has everything that I want in a woman except she has little money, and a tiny bit overweight (I can handle with the weight issue). We both want to marry. Carol is divorced, she has two daughters 14 and 5. She lives in the Caribbean and we talk almost every day on skype.
I told her many times that I cannot afford a family of six on my salary. She tells me that if we love each other it doesn't matter b/c we can solve any problem. She's willing to look for a job to make it work.
Carol is not a skilled worker, she didn't finish college, and I can't imagine how she can contribute anything significant to the cost of managing the household. I'm afraid that if marry her and try to support a family of six on my salary that we all might fall on hard times; I'll lose everything that I've worked for.
She insists that money doesn't matter and I should follow my heart. I told her that we can get married in 2013, but I have ice cold feet.
Do I follow my heart and overcome, or do I follow my brain and stay alone? I'm really torn between the two decisions because she really is good woman.
Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your kids are your responsibility first and foremost. If you think that financially adding more people to your household is going to prevent you from providing for them and their college fund, I wouldn't do it.
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You would be surprised at what people can attain and accomplish with someone they love. If you live in the United States there are government programs you can use that will help you survive until you both are better able. Really the choice is yours but lonliness can lead to greater misery.
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Money does make a huge difference, It isn't all just about love. Money makes a bigger difference when you have children too support. If you become committed to her in anyway whether it's marriage or living together then you take a vow to co-parent her kids too. I would definitely highly advise you to hold off on the idea of getting married until you know that Carol is financially stable. If you are meant to marry this women then don't rush it, Play it safe. Technically, It's a bit unfair to tell her you will marry her in 2013. We cannot predict the future. I would play it by ear but make sure that she reaches some goals before you give her your ticket of commitment. Marrying her while she is jobless and has no stability is going to set you both up for a long haul.
Now if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely wait until you know she has held a job for a least 6 months. You do not want to marry someone and have the burden be on you.
Also, To be a bit honest
I would talk to her about your concerns. It's a bit hard to judge a situation when I only hear one story. My main concern is to why she is set on the marriage? You have no even met this woman in person and how do you know she is giving you a run for money? I'm not saying she is a bad person but something don't seem quiet right about what you've asked.
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I'm not married, nor have I ever been. I'm currently a student. However, my personal opinion about love can be used for any age group. If you love one another, marriage is not necessary. I know many neighbors of mine who have divorced and have been with a new significant other for 5 years and counting. They are happy as ever, but they both have their own families. There is no need to get married so you have to support her. If love is there, all you need is to be with one another, and if she is insisting on marriage, she might have other motives.
Hope this helps!
xx
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