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my husband is bisexual. I just found out that he has been with over 50 men... now he wants me pregnant? I wish to die, what else can I do?
hi...i got married to this guy in 2011. now i know that he is bisexual... i came to know this by reading his messages in a gay community in his phone.i love him a lot... when i asked him he told me he was a bisexual , he is not involved with any guy after he got married , and he will be with me forever.i dont know if i can trust him or not. i hav't told this to my parents either as they would never get what bisexual is.
can bisexuals be loyal to a women... he says he had sexual relation with more than 50 guys. how can i trust him, he will not do it again.
now he wants me to get pregnant...please help me, i don't know have anyone to talk to.. i love him a lot, i feel like committing suicide nt able to decide what to do.please please please help me.
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I think it's right to not trust him. Having a relationship with over 50 guys, that seems like a lot. I don't know what ages you two are, but I could never imagine being with 50 women.
In the courting process did you never ask him about past relationships? It seems only natural that you probably would have. Because you did not find out about him being Bisexual until after you were married, I wonder how well you really know him at all. If he's browsing gay forums and keeping it secret, one questions the motives for doing so. Is he seeking advice online or trying to meet new guys? Does anything in his behaviour seem like he's still seeing other guys?
If for some reason you're okay with him keeping this information from you until after you were married, then power to you, but I wouldn't be. I'd be looking for an anullment unless he could convince me beyond any doubt that he would be faithful forever.
I've got nothing against gay/lesbian/bi-sexuals at all, but the hiding from it does bother me.
I personally think this is more like a gay guy looking to get married to have his cover story and present himself as straight. I'm sorry, that's just what it looks like to me.
Now, with all that out of the way... what can you do? Question yourself, do you really want to stay in a relationship where you don't know if anything is real? Do you love him so much that you can look past this deceit?
Just remember this above all else, it isn't over yet. He probably does love you, and if he could love you, others will too. Give yourself some time, regroup and if it doesn't work out. Get back in the game. You've learned an important question to ask people. I asked my wife before we got married, "Are there any skeletons in your closet that I don't know about?"
I hope it works out, I really do. But if you've been married a year and he's still involved with others online, I'd have to wonder if he's doing more than just stuff online.
Don't wish to die though. Sorry, if I'm mean here.
What does that really accomplish? Nothing. Do something about it, don't just wish for death. I'm not saying to go out and find death either, that's no good. If you're wishing for death, it sounds like you're not too happy with what's happened, so do something about the problem. Death is easy, yes. But it's also final. I'm sure there is some stuff in life you haven't done or seen yet, so do those things. Rather than die, forget your husband and see things you never thought about before. Travel to Europe, join the military, smile at strangers. There is so much you can do, and should do. Focus your efforts into a career somewhere, or focus into creative outlets. Do something for yourself. Instead of wishing to die, learn to live. I've said too much of nothing on here, but I'm trying to keep you up a little. You deserve something good, so make it happen.
Everyone loves you, remember that.
-Andrew
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he has told you the truth since the begining rite?
he hasnt lie to you..so you should probably trust him on this one too..
BUT JUST FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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based on my opinion if your husband is true loving and truthful to you and personally if you like him very much then you can go with your husband.but your husband had relationship with 50 guys which seems that he wont stop his homosexual activity.if you are able to handle the stress after bereavement,then you can divorce your husband.please talk openly with your husband before taking any decision
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based on my opinion if your husband is true loving and truthful to you and personally if you like him very much then you can go with your husband.but your husband had relationship with 50 guys which seems that he wont stop his homosexual activity.if you are able to handle the stress after bereavement,then you can divorce your husband.please talk openly with your husband before taking any decision
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Well don't commit suicide! That would just be silly and you know it. Listen to your heart. Do you want to have children with this man? Or do you want to wait? Because you just got married a year ago! You have to decide for yourself. Nobody will do it for you. You need to consider everything that has happened and everything that will happen when you make your decision. Talk to your husband. If you love him so much than you should be able to tell him what you told us. Don't let him think everything is ok when it's not. Let him know how you're feeling. This is all the advice I can give.
~Andrew~
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Can straight men and women be loyal to a woman? Yes, anyone can be loyal, including bisexuals. There is no difference. Just because he's bisexual, doesn't make him the type of person to sleep with every person he comes in contact with.
Everyone has relationships before they get married and if he's not with anyone after your marriage, then I don't see why you can't trust him. He's trusting you with a delicate situation and if that doesn't say loyal, then I don't know what does.
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I believe you are the same person who previously posted a simular question.
You stated right here "i dont know if i can trust him or not"
If you can't trust him fully, Then you may want to seek marriage counseling to help you work through your problem.
Also, The fact that you asked this question twice makes me think you are doubting your marriage. If you are not happy nor can you bring yourself to trust your husband then either come to an agreement for counseling or file a divorce. I personally do not think becoming pregnant is the best thing at this time as it's pretty obvious that you have an issue to work out with him first. Committing suicide over something like this is not going to help the situation.
Honestly, You should have a sit down with him and explain to him that you are feeling insecure in the relationship. Explain your worries, concerns and how it bothers you he had so many partners. If you do not express yourself you are keeping it bottled in and it will cause you to become stressed. In the meantime lay off becoming pregnant, Sort of the issues you have first.
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Hi
It seems like your husband loves you very much and has decided to be a father so he could start his own family with you.
Even though he was bisexual and has had sexual relation with more than 50 guys, doesn't he deserve a second chance to be a better man? My answer is ofcourse he does we can only do our best by learning from our mistakes.
If he truly loves you he will never cheat on you again.
Remember love is a very powerful thing and if he loves you just the way you love him he will keep his promise for the rest of his life I can assure you of that, and that is true love.
There are some things you keep to yourself but you know deep down its the right thing to do. So don't feel bad for not telling about this issue to your parents.
And finally there's no need to think about suicide's. Life is beautiful you need to enjoy every moment while you still can and you have to make the best of it.
I hope this helped wish you all the best :)
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The first thing the two of you must do is be tested for STDs and HIV/AIDS. If he refuses to be tested then I can only advise that you be tested and not to have sex with him until he is tested. In fact I would suggest you move out. If he refuses to be tested that should answer the question of whether or not he is still having sex with men.
This is not something to commit suicide over, though it is something to get counseling over. Both individual counseling for you and marriage counseling for the two of you if you wish to save your marriage over this.
This is a pretty big secret to be kept from you. There is nothing wrong with either of you being bi-sexual or bi-sexuality. What is wrong here is that he kept it a secret from you and the number of bi-sexual relationships he has had.
While one could interpret this as speaking highly of his love for you and his fear of loosing you by keeping this a secrete. He has also endangered your health by not telling you, especially if he has not not been tested and has continued his bi-sexual relationships during your courtship and marriage.
I can't or won't tell you what to do with your marriage, it is not proper for me to do so. I believe you know what you should do and just want someone to tell you it is the proper thing to do.
In this case it probably is. By not telling you this in advance of your nuptials he has married you under false pretences. Which I believe, even in the Catholic Church, would be reason for an Annulment of the marriage. He have also placed you in great physical danger, which would be another reason to do what needs to be done. How can you love and trust someone who would do that to you.
I suggest the following: First thing tomorrow go to a clinic or your doctor and be tested. Take the day off from work if you can it is that important. Ask your doctor to do a complete physical and make sure you do not have any STDS and are free of the HIV/AIDS virus. You should tell your doctor what you found out. Your doctor is a great source of information and resource to help you through this time. The doctor also needs to know why he or she is treating/looking at married women for this. Don't be embarrassed you have nothing to be ashamed of as you have been duped by your husband.
Your doctor will probably give you some medication to help you settle your nerves as well as recommend a good talk therapist to you. You will need a good therapist to help you through this whatever you decide.
As I see it you have only two choices here. You either can move out and see a lawyer or stay with your husband and seek the help of a marriage counselor. This is something you have to decide. No one can make this choice for yourself.
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