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is it ok to talk to ex's abusive mom after sveral years
My ex's mom was primarily responsible for our split up 20 yrs ago, but now being married and settled in life, i still have sleepless and tearful nights, thinking of the past. I sometimes feel i should call ex's mom and ask for a sorry, for i never listened to her repeated dissprovals, until the last threat of a suicide. is it ok to cal, her..i sometimes feel, the relationship should close, but i am also if might start a chapter by givind details of my whereabouts. sometimes i feel, may be i should let the blood boil as my life had turned upside down after the unexpected heart break with an abortion.
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I wouldn't advise you to call her.
There isn't too much in your question to go on, but if you are looking for an apology from a person who was abusive and crazy twenty years ago - well, you aren't thinking clearly. You are far, FAR more likely to find more abuse than anything that will help you moving forward.
If you need to close this chapter of your life, get counseling and talk it over with a supportive professional.
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You ever heard that old saying "Some things are better left unsaid?" I certainly wouldn't bring up the past with her.
You see, If you want to forgive her then fine you can do that, but if she is an abusive person then likely she will not admit to her wrong doing nor are you even going to get an apology from her.
My husband's mother is an obnoxious person. When I first got together with him she did everything in her power to split us up and it simply didn't work. Anyway to make a long story short my husband and I haven't talked or seen her in over 4 years. We recently decided we'd set up a P.O. Box and remain mutual through letters only. You learn quick that sometimes it's best not to get personal with certain people. You could try sending her a letter but for your safety and your husbands you could try the P.O. box as well. However, If you decide to do so I would small talk and keep the private stuff out of it.
Now you didn't state exactly what your reasoning was to wanting to contact her. Is it because you need closure? It has been 20 years but if you still decide to do so keep an open mind that you may never truly get the closure you seek. Abusive people hardly ever see what they've done wrong.
You've got two choices, You can forgive her within yourself or attempt to remain mutual through a letter. Just do not get your hopes up too high....
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