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Always walking on eggshells around my sister
I'm 14 and I have an 18 year old sister. I love her, that I know. But I feel like I can't trust her. Everytime she comes home from college I am very careful about what I say when talking to her. Everytime we fight (which is often), I can never defend myself or fight back because I know that whatever I "trust" her with, she threatens to tell everyone. I talked to her about it already, and she said she's more mature now and she won't do it anymore. But we just had an argument and it ended the same way I thought it would end, with her saying "I could say so much about you, don't mess with me." I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to live my life not being able to confide in or trust my sister.
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Hey there,
I understand where you are coming from.
Unfortunately that's how siblings can be at times.
I remember when I was younger my older sisters would always threaten to tell my secrets. Thankfully now that we are older we have a more trusting relationship with one another.
Try and talk to her one more time. If she doesn't understand then just don't tell her things. I know that sucks because we all love to confide in our sisters as they understand what we are going through. But if she can't be trusted then it isn't worth it. You don't want to live your life in fear of what she might say or hold against you. Confide in a friend instead.
Hopefully when she gets a bit older she might mature a bit and stop threatening you then you can have a close and confiding relationship.
good luck and much <3
Jess 18/f
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Really, the only way to solve this is to speak to her. It's good that you have already spoken to her about that specific issue. She said that she has matured, but that is clearly not true.
I have to say, at 18, very few people are matured. Even at 21. I know people aged 30 who still act like children.
But you have to sit her down when you two are both calm, and tell her exactly what you say in your question. So let her know that you feel betrayed and that feel that you can not trust her, even though it would be horrible if you could not confide in your big sister. Just tell her exactly how you feel about it.
If however she carries on, then it may be best not to tell her anything personal that you wouldn't want other people knowing. It's a sad state of affairs, but if you speak to her and see no results, then you really have no choice. You could always just speak to your friends about things that you have to get off your chest.
But realise that your sister isn't necessarily bad for what she is doing. It's usually just an act of desperation, especially if you may be judgmental, or have a go at her for doing something wrong. She may just be saying it to you to end the argument or whatever, and she may have no intention of telling anyone anything.
Good luck.
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