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Rascist Father Hates Boyfriend
I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 20. He means the absolute world to me. He is, hands down, the sweetest guy I've ever known. However, he's black.
My dad was perfectly fine with that fact that I had a boyfriend, until I told him that he's black. He won't even give him a chance. My dad knows that my boyfriend is important to me, but all he does is complain.
I told him that if he's just going to act this way, then I'm not so sure I want him around. He said that that was his plan and that if we ever get married or have children, he won't be there for us or for his grandchildren.
It's really upsetting me that my dad is doing this. I'm not too sure what to do. Help?
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my advice is to talk to your dad once more tell him how much your boyfriend means to you tell him how much your and your fathers relationship means to you and tell him that you would love his support if this dosent work then just keep in touch with him and only on occasion slightly bring up your boyfriend or ask for them to meet-hope this helps :)
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you could talk to him about how you feel. tell him everything that you want him to know and tell him that if he loves you then he'll respect your decisions. it's really hard to choose between the person you love and your family, but if you can't let your bf go then just give your dad a little more time and space to think about it. i'm sure in time he'll have to accept it.
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It is unfortunate that in this day and time we have not gotten past racism. At least your fathers rascist ways have not carried over on to you.
The unfortunate part is there is very little you can say to your dad to make him change. Fortunatley children can and have taught their parents many things. Weaing of seatbelts was taught to parents by their children. By doing you may show your father that his racism is wrong. Actions always speak louder than words. That and the fact your his daughter and not his son. To a father a daughter is always his little girl even when she is grown and has a family of her own.
The other thing that causes change in parents is grandchildren. Your father can say what he wants today. Tomorrow when you place your child in his arms everything changes. That little bundel of joy makes a world of difference when dad goes from being dad to granddad.
My advice: You won't be able to change your father with words alone. Continue seeing this boy and let your actions teach dad he is wrong.
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Tell your dad he is being an asshole.
Really, what else can you do?
Tell him if he cuts his grandchildren out of his life over race than he is an awful person.
Tell him that you love him and want him to be part of your life and that you don't THINK that he is an awful person, but that his awful behavoir needs to stop.
Your father might not change, but at least you'll have called a spade a spade. It doesn't matter WHY your father thinks you shouldn't date a black man. It doesn't matter how much sense it makes to him to feel that way. What matters is that it is 100%, wrong. And if he can't see that on his own, you'll need to point it out, repeatedly and clearly.
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