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My boyfriend is way older than I
I am a seventeen year old female and I a 25 year old boyfriend. When we first started dating he didnt ask me my age nor did i ask his. We feel deeply in love and then the age came into play. We've had sex alot and He haseven proposed to me a couple of times. I really really love him. Both our birthdays are in july so i'll be eighteen and he'll be 26. Please tell me what I should do. I don't want anything bad to happen to him because of me. Thanks...
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i am in ur situation im 12 and i am secretly going out with a boy at the ge of 16 he is 4 years older than me and i love him but i decided to0 keep it a secret until i am happy to tell my family about him i reckon you should do the same.
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Don't let people get you down about this. My friend and her boyfriend are 6 years apart. You're mature at the age you are, for the most part. Girls do mature faster than guys. If you love him, then be with him. You are going to run into bumps because of the age difference. He is going to be ready to marry/ have children before you are I'm assuming. But if he loves and cares about you then he will wait on all that until you're ready. Just don't let him rush you into things that you're not ready for, such as marriage. It's close to July, so it won't be much longer until you're at the age of consent, if it is 18. Google the state that you're living in & find out the age of consent, in some states it's even as young as 16.By the way, don't let people bring you down! I hope this helps & good luck! (:
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Ugh, idiots.
First, a pedophile is clinically defined by the DSM (diagnostics criteria used by psychology) as someone who is attracted to prepubescent children. There are separate terms for attraction to pubescent and post pubescent people and it's defined as a specific and lasting attraction. He is not a pedophile and the posters below me irritate me for being among the millions of americans who misuse terms like that out of complete ignorance.
What your boyfriend could possibly be is someone who has committed statuatory rape. That depends on your state, the age of consent is not 18 in all states. If you live in Texas, for instance, the age of consent is 17 and what you are doing is not in fact illegal.
25 and 17 presents it's own problems, an 8 year gap like that can only be bridged if he's very immature. Nothing personal, but the average 17 year old has little to offer the average 25 year old, you should both be in completely different places in your lives. If you are not, be warned, in 5 years he could still be immature and you could not be and it will get very tiresome to have outgrown a man 8 years your senior and be sitting there hoping that he grows up.
So don't marry him until you're in your mid 20s if it comes to that. Period.
You turn 18 in a few months and after that no one will bat an eye. Personally, you're not a child at this point and your choices are your own, so just keep the fact that you might have had sex before you were legally able to to yourself and nothing bad should come of it. It's really up to you to be the one to witness against him and send him to jail unless you get caught in the act of having sex and turned in and even then police usually require more than just a witness claiming that an illegal act was committed so keep your mouth shut and you have nothing to worry about.
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Flare makes some good points. Technically your boyfriend is a pedophile. All of what Flare said and what I'm thinking depends on the laws of your state and at what age the age of consent is.
If you are above the age of consent then statutory rape is not a legal problem. Still the 6 year age difference is. By law it matters not how old you are today or tomorrow but how old you were when you started dating. If you two have been dating for over a year then Statutory rape is something he can be charged with, child molestation, pedophilia, leading to the delinquency of a minor and last but not least. IF you two ever crossed a state line together their is the federal charge of the Mann act to contend with.
I'm just wondering how long you two have been dating and how long you have known each others true ages. The six year difference in ages is not that big a deal. My in-laws had a five year difference in age with my mother in-law being 5 years older than my father in-law. The difference is they were more mature; being in their mid twenties when they met and married, than you are.
If I knew you better I would be much better able to advise you on this subject. Most 18 year olds, for this purpose you are 18, while legally an adult, have not yet gained the maturity or world experience to be having an adult relationship with someone so much older than themselves. This is what the next four years and college is all about. A chance to grow and mature away from home but still with a safety net of the school and your parents.
I'm concerned that had you boyfriend learned your true age when you were still 16 or early 17 why did he not break off the relationship. At 24 or 25 he should have the knowledge and maturity to know better. This leads me to believe he prefers younger women and the relationship you have with him will not be long lasting as you grow and mature and he loses control over you.
My advice is to end the relationship and find someone closer to your own age, at least for now.
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Hello,
Well technically, he is a sex offender. You are a child (under 18), and he is an adult (over 18). If this was taken to court, it would depend on the Judge you got. Some take the line that this is pedophilia, and will be very strict. Others may believe that it is not so bad, as you are nearly 18, and will *just* declare him a sex offender, and he may still have to serve a term.
I would just like to point out, what 17/18 is way too young to be engaged. 25 is still quite young, but about the right age to start thinking about it. Because you are so young, you are still quite naive. You think that you may be with this person forever. It doesn't work like that. You probably will meet other people.
But it seems as if he is proposing, because he is at that stage in life, and seems to think it's his only option, or else he will be alone. You however, have years before you get to the stage where you start thinking about such things.
My advice is to end the relationship. I know you may feel that he is right for you, but if he is proposing to you while you are a child, and he is an adult, not only is he not thinking about your future (education, career, etc), but he is being rather selfish. And you will find someone else.
It goes without saying, that this is strictly illegal. Even when you are an adult (18), the fact that he had sex with you as a child is very wrong, and still illegal.
It sounds as if he is simply taking advantage.
Apologies if this sounds harsh, and good luck.
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