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Previously abusive ex wants me to babysit
I just moved back in with my ex who has been physically abusive in the past. I've returned because the situations I fled to turned out to be worse. He has custody of his kids later this summer and expects me to be default babysitter. However, he is not committed to me long term and is saying he's leaving town next year, so I'm not sure why I should invest the time. The kids have behavior problems and their mom insulted me last summer when I made a genuine effort to be good to her kids. If I don't do it, he is threatening to hire a babysitter, and chances are whatever girl he finds to watch his kids will take my place in other ways as well. He also accuses me of not liking his kids. It's really the lack of appreciation from the parents I'm not fond of. I don't have the credit and income to get my own place. Living with family is out of the question. I'm trying to get my situation more stable. It's not terrible here, but I do want advice on how to set boundaries on my time. I pay rent to live here.
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Tell him to hire a babysitter.
And at least look into women's shelters in your area.
Living with someone who has been physically abusive in the past, who expects to be able to treat you like a slave, and who you fear will... what exactly? Fuck the babysitter and get you kicked out?
That is actually terrible.
The perfect boundaries to set would be to never speak to this person again in your life.
In the meantime, at least don't babysit his kids, and look into women's shelters in your area - just in case.
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You owe your ex nothing, You also owe the mother of the children nothing.
Abusive people do not change unless they seek intensive therapy. Money is tight that I umderstand but this most certainly is not the way out. Abusive people do not deserve a favor nor any sort of friendship of any kind. If money is a n issue try to find a part time job perhaps try to room with a friend, look for ads of wanted room mates and sometime people will even be willing to rent a room out. Either way you need to get out and find a better oppertunity. The longer you allow yourself to live around it the longer you prolong your pain. Try friends, Relatives, Paper Ads but you owe it to get out. Also again you owe him nothing
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