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how does one escape abuse
if a person is living in an abusive home then they are the victims of sometimes name calling cruelty hitting cheap remarks insults why stay when there is a whole new path of life out there were you are freed from abuse men and women whom don't abuse or use people to their advantages if you are being abused or now of someone whom is there are shelters crisis centers doctors nurses clinics whom can help you
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
If I interpreted this correctly, I detected "why stay when there is a whole new path of life out there?" as being your main question.
Fair warning: this is part of my area of scholarly research on which I've done a TON of reading, so this is going to be a long answer.
You are entirely correct that there are shelters, crisis centers, doctors, nurses, and clinics equipped to help and provide safety for victims of domestic abuse. Society in general is also much, much more understanding of victims of abuse than we have been in the past.
Unfortunately, the act of leaving an abusive partner or parent is not so simple as walking (or running) out the door. Even in unmarried relationships, there are emotional ties in place, and several types of manipulation occurring by the abuser that often goes as far as to convince the victim that being abused is THEIR fault. What's worse is that victims of abuse (of all types) wind up with their self-esteem and confidence dwindled and diminished to the point that they believe their abuser. So, once a victim decides that they need to leave their partner, it's an extremely difficult process of disentanglement from their current life and thought processes. Often the thing that people struggle with is the idea that their partner "used to" be so sweet and kind and loving. They struggle to accept the fact that the person hurting them is part of the true identity of their partner, along with the loving person they initially knew. Typically, abusers have a duality to them, much like Jekyll and Hyde. Both sides exist, and after awhile, Hyde often takes over, as he did Dr. Jekyll in the book.
That being said, abuse itself is very cyclical in nature: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) This link describes the pattern well, and will shorten my response.
As a survivor of abuse myself, I can attest to the fact that an abusive relationship is like an addiction. Because of this, I give you Prochaska and DiClemente's (1984) Transtheoretical model: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
This model of behavior change has mostly been associated with drug addiction and recovery research, but it works with an abusive behavior, as well. The cycle begins with 1) a precontemplative stage, where the victim begins to think that they may need to consider a change in behavior (perhaps after the first violent incident). The victim then moves into 2)a contemplative stage, where they start to actually think about making a change (leaving); following this is 3) a preparation stage, where the victim prepares to make a change (gathering resources, or finding somewhere to go). Following preparation, the victim may 4) take action and leave their abuser. Unfortunately, 5) the maintenance stage, where the victim should stay gone (if they even get to the action stage and leave) is often where things go awry. Their abuser contacts them, they wind up going back, and 6) relapsing. Thus the cycle begins again
Research shows, though, that several trial separations and breakups are par for the course before a victim of domestic violence actually manages to leave and stay away from their partner for good.
In addition to the similarities to addiction that come into play, I believe there is a sort of moral disengagement occurring by both victim AND abuser that involves both of them justifying away behavior, re-labeling of the behavior itself, minimizing consequences, attributing blame to the victim, dehumanizing the victim, and otherwise misconstruing what's really going on for one reason or another. There is little to no research directly relating moral disengagement to the happenings in abusive relationships, but believe me, there's a link.
Anyway. I'll stop my response here, because I could go on for ages. If you have questions about resources, or articles to read about this stuff, I have piles and piles, and I'd be happy to share. Just inbox me. :)
Hope this helped clarify some stuff for you!
Siren
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I'm really not sure what you're question is, or if you are asking a question. What you have written reads more like a statement rather than a question. Would you like to clarify what you are asking and submit. Them maybe we can give you an answer.
By the way what you have written is correct in what you have said.
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