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Feeling small and stupid
Me: 16/Female, Junior. Him: 18/Male,Senior. So this guy, we’ve been best friends for three years. Literally. Best friends. I could go on for pages and pages and pages and pages about our friendship, how much it means to me, how much its helped me through so many tough times, how he’s basically my rock yadayadayada. I can’t go on about it, but you got to get it in your head that this kid means SO MUCH to me.
And that’s also kind of the problem. He means so much to me. He means so much to me, and as of recently, we started hooking up. I know, BAD IDEA. Please don’t lecture me. We hook up, friends with benefits kinda thing, and we try not to let anyone know about it.
That’s not really the main problem though. The combination of him meaning so much to me, and me hooking up with him has obviously gotten me thinking some “more than friends” kinda thoughts. Which he has made it very clear on very many occasions, will never happen. I’m a junior, he’s a senior, he’s going to college, it’s just not going to happen. We will never date. It hurts me though. I literally think I’m in love with him. And it sucks. And I can’t tell him about it.
Another side of our relationship: the side where I’m a push over and he loves it. He’s a 6’2 jacked up football player. I’m 5’3 100 pounds, and yes, I’ll admit it, weaker than shit. Already physically he pushes me around a lot. He’s a very impatient, pushy guy. Nothing bad, he’s never hurt me or anything, he just knows that if he wants something his way, he’ll have it his way and I can’t stop him. I don’t know how to explain it. We’re good enough friends that if were sitting in his car eating some chips and I wanna turn the volume on the radio down, I’m gonna reach over and turn down the volume. And he’s gonna grab my wrist and turn it back. Ill reach with my other hand and he’ll just hold both my wrists in one hand and not let go until I say “fine, you win, volume stays where it is”. What else can I do? I let him push me around in other ways too. I hate it, but yeah sometimes I feel like his bitch. That’s just my personality, I do what I’m told, I don’t like causing a lot of issues. But he takes advantage of this and I know it.
I just don’t know what to do. He really is a good friend to me. I’m not saying anything about all the good parts… Like how he constantly sticks up for me, uses his size to protect me (or beat my ex boyfriends ass when he slapped me), or holds me when I cry and buys me ice cream when I’m sad. I’m so confused about everything… How he treats me, how I feel about him… And I just don’t know what to do from here but I’m not happy. Please help.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Do not have a long distance relationship w him... as someone in college, trust me. Enjoy your high school years.
I Would suggest ending things on REALLY REALLY good terms. Like have a wonderful summer with him and make a bucket list to make it epic...and when he's gone, he's gonna wanna meet college chicks, and you should make the last of your 2 years of hs. Really enjoy them because they go so quick, and I miss them. Haha I feel so old saying this (PS I just turned 20)
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Okay, you just got to go up to him and tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels about you, if he likes you wait a few days and then ask him to be your boyfriend, but you might want to wait three or four days before you ask him out. Thanks for putting the question and your welcome for answering it, and good luck with your dream boy!!!! :)
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Speak with him online that way he doesn't have to see you when you ask questions. Your choice.
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He's a good friend, but you shouldn't let him take advantage of you, NEVER LET ANY GUY HAVE THE ADVANTAGE to put that on you! Maybe you say that you love him and the sex is where it is right now. Its a great thing that he sticks up for you, be glad. But he can't have everything his way, and you can't always give him what he wants, and another thing is you have to face tough situations. Tell him how you feel and try to resolve the things around you.
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