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Feeling very down and depressed. I am scared I am going to do something bad when my boyfriend goes into the army.
I suffer from very severe depression, im on sertraline 50mg I want to die but i am too scared to act upon it, i love my boyfriend who is going into the army and im scared i might do something while im not with him, can anyone give me advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
As someone else said, it seems your medication isn't working enough for you. Are you seeing your primary doctor or a psychiatrist for your medication? I highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist, as this is their specialty and they can better work with you to find the right medication and dose. It can take a while to get it right and, even when you do, your body can eventually stop responding to it and require a change.
I also highly recommend therapy. It will help you to develop coping strategies for when he is gone so you can feel better. If you can get into a group therapy setting, it is actually shown to be more helpful than individual therapy. If nothing else, it puts you in a place with other people who are feeling similar to you and will support your well-being.
Next, I think you should talk to your boyfriend about your feelings in an open, honest way. Let him know you love him and are proud of him and ask him to write you often. When my bf went into the Marines, he wrote me every day. He is now my husband and he is very supportive and patient with my bipolar disorder and depression.
If nothing else, keep in mind that your boyfriend will come back to you. If you are not there, what will that do to him?
I'll leave you with an exercise my therapist gave me to help rein in the emotion and negativity: Set aside one hour every day to just cry. Cry for the whole hour, then write what you experienced and felt. It will give you back some control over the emotion, take you out of the spiral where just being depressed and crying makes you feel worse and cry more. You will have a say in when you cry and what you take from it.
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Your medicine is not working hun. If it was you wouldn't be having suicidal thoughs. Stay strong your boyfriends needs you and your support just remember being there to write letters to and him to think about you is going to keep you together. Talk to your doctor and counsling can help you.
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Being with a service man is difficult. I was once with a man in the RAF and I will admit that I struggled with counting the days until he came home and the sudden separation.
All I can suggest is to keep busy. Take on some hours at work, see good friends and family who will listen to how you feel about it all.
Think how your boyfriend would feel if you were not around to love him anymore. Life can be hard but just think of those who would suffer if you really did leave them in such a way.
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