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I'm scared about sex
So I have been seeing this guy who Is three years older than me so my parents don't know about our relationship and he mentioned oral sex a few times. I trust and love him and I'm ready but he said fingering will be nice. Hedoesnt pressure me though. My parents are very protective and they will take me to the gynecologist if they feel the urge to. So my question is, is fingering me going to break my hymen? And I use tamponsos there a way for me to see if it's already broken?
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Fingering could "break" your hymen, that happened for me. But it wasn't traumatic, he didn't know he did it, and all that happened was some blood in the toilet the next time I went to the bathroom. It wasn't even as heavy as the lightest period you could imagine. It also doesn't hurt as badly as people say it does, because the hymen is weakened or sometimes gone in its entirety due to tampon using or sports. If you're ready for this step and confident that you want it to happen, there is nothing to worry about. It's not a sign of virginity or not, every doctor will tell you that now.
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If you are over 14 your parents cannot force you to go to any doctor for the purpose of a female examination the results of which they wish to know. Under a law passed by congress called HIPPA if you are 14 years of age or older you are afforded medical confidentiality when it comes to your reproductive system. This would include your hymen and if you are a virgin or not.
Once you reach age 14 you will be asked to sign the doctors office HIPPA compliance form. Read it carefully, ask the nurse to explain anything you don't understand. Your parents cannot force you to sign any form that allows them to see or be told anything about any visit or any treatment you receive. Mom is not allowed in the exam room with you unless you invite her to be with you. The doctor or office staff will tell her she must wait in the waiting room that is the law.
Everything you discuss with the doctor or anyone in their office of a medical nature is confidential. They can not tell anyone without your written permission. You can ask for and be prescribed birth control. The pharmacy will fill the prescription and does not require parental permission to do so. How you pay for them is another story or problem. Mom can only find out if she finds the pills.
This Law was passed so that teenagers could get proper medical care for their reproductive systems without fear of parental intervention or knowledge.
.You also do not need parental permission to see a doctor if you feel the need to do so.
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It doesn't break or pop but rather stretches or tears. Odds are it has already done so through falling, certain sports such as riding, tampon usage or self-touching. It has NOTHING to do with virginity as any gynecologist would soon confirm anyways.
Even if sent to one they can't tell your parents by law a thing. If you don't want them in the same room let alone office they can kick them out at your request.
Your decisions about your body and sexual activity are yours to make good or bad not your parents. Yes, they have right to be concerned and to properly educate and prepare you for later but the choice is yours regardless of approval but make darn sure you are ready and guard against consequences.
Tell your boyfriend your concerns and that you have been heavily sheltered, fear what your parents will do and want to proceed but when it's right and you feel secure in doing so. Don't rush in just because he wants to even if he hasn't pressured. If you are too worried about parents and this it means it's time to wait a while longer until you can make the decision for/against without worry over their over-reaction which may/may not happen.
ADDITIONAL: Wikipedia has an article on the hymen and different types. It contains medical diagrams that shows what each looks like intact so it could give you an idea of what it looks like if not present.
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