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How I can I die without pain?
Hello, I read all your pain (and good advice) and I agree. I am a coward, scum and will hurt people who love me and I don't want to. But I can't live any more, I have tried to slice my wrists and it hurts and I was stopped by my partner, now he hides the pills, none of my knives are sharp enough and I don't have a car. I have tried to learn how to tie a noose but none of my beams are strong enough. I know the universe is telling me not to do it, as the only thing left is to throw myself on the train tracks, yes it is a guaranteed way to die, quickly, I don't know about painlessly, but I can't affect another soul with my pain- it's bad enough my son will suffer, briefly, but my partner will quickly erase my memory. He really hates me, but won't let me leave. I am studying Psychology as I am fascinated by what makes people 'tick'. And this man I can't figure out, or leave. I have stopped suicide before because I love my son so much, he is my life and light in a dark sky, but he deserves a better life than a crazy, psychotic mother and a screaming father. I used to be happy and find joy in all things once upon a time and I know if I could leave and still be with my son, I could have a chance for happiness. But if I leave I will never see him again as his Dad is determined to have him and hurt me (I don't even think he is thinking of what is best for my son). My family and friends are sick of the drama and have told me to sort my life out, I can't keep going, coming back only to leave again. I honestly don't think they would help anymore as I have only been back 4 days and they begged me not to return, that nothing would change, that I should get my son and get out...but I had to come back for my son, or he was going to VIC, I live in QLD, and I knew I would never see him again. I had a job, and friends and was starting to really do well in my studies and the black dog of my relationship got in the way- and I gave up everything to be with my son. Unfortunately that means being with a man that resents and hates me, and that has eaten away at my soul. He is turning my 3 year old against me, my son says things like, "stop talking to Daddy, Mummy, he doesn't love you", or " Go home, Mummy you don't live here and we don't want you". I stayed at home to raise him and educate him and love him and give him every thing, but now he like every one else, doesn't want me around. So I have decided to die. I can't just run away, being away from my son, having him growing thinking I didn't love him, would be more painful than my daily life- I couldn't bear it, it's better this way. I won't bother his or his Dad's life any more and my friends and family won't have to deal with my drama. I will make sure no-one finds my body, so as not to cause undue truama- HAVE EVEN THOUGHT OF FRAMING PARTNER, BUT THEN MY SON WILL HAVE NO ONE.- I am so fucked up, so psychologically stressed, exhausted and in pain. So what is the least painful way to die, no mess or stress for anyone? I have heard good things about poison, does anyone know about this? I don't know how much help you can be, because I have decided I am doing it this week, while he is out with my son. I believe in reincarnation and I know I will come straight back to learn all these crappy life lessons again, this time I will not let love guide me- it is all a bunch of bullshit lies-love is not every thing or important, it's just another system of control.
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Let me just say this.
You can't seriously expect people to answer this question?
You've obviously poured your heart out but I can tell you now that you're not considering it too seriously else you wouldn't have gone to the trouble of writing all of the above out, you'd have done it straight away.
Have you tried to get in touch with people like the samaritions about your obvious low mood? Visit a doctor not the gates of heaven first.
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hey listen to me, we don't give bad advises to people
just don't ever think of dying
once i also thought of dying and i attempted but when i woke up in hospital i thought " the life that i am living is not mine that is the gift of your parents"
SO YOU NEED TO LIVE FOR YOUR FAMILY
GOD BLESS YOU
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I can attest to the fact that throwing yourself in front of a train does not always kill. I am a member of a fire department rescue squad. About 12 times a year we respond to what is classified as suicide by train. Only 2 or 3 of them actually result in death; dismemberment, the loss of an arm, hand, leg or foot yes. Lots of broken bones and painful injuries but not always death.
I'm not sure where QLD is or what VIC is. If you live in the United States or Canada please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is the National Suicide Prevention Hot line and is answered 24/7 365 days a year. They can and will help you with whatever problems you are having. You could also call RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National, Network; their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. It sounds like you are living with an abusive husband. The call takers at RAINN are trained to help you leave him and can help you with finding the legal help you need to get away from him and hopefully take your son with you.
There is no reason to kill yourself because you are being abused by your husband. Even if you do not live in the U S there are agencies like those I offered through the civilized world to help you. You have access to the Internet all you need to do is search for them. Do so and be there for your son so he does not grow up to be like your husband.
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